Thursday, November 14, 2024
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Bruce Willis’s Co-star in Latest “B” Movie, Machine Gun Kelly, Calls the Terrible Film “Trash”

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Machine Gun Kelly is an overly tattooed performer– actor/singer– whose real name is Colson Baker. He and his tabloid actress girlfriend Megan Fox appear in the latest direct to video B movie of former star Bruce Willis called “Midnight in the Switchgrass.”

On Twitter yesterday, Kelly wrote: “if i don’t talk or tweet about a movie i’m barely in it’s because it’s [emoji for trash].”

Kelly appears in the movie but is uncredited. Much has been made in the supermarket tabs of Kelly and Fox appearing in a “movie” together for the first time. They’re like the bargain bin version of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They know from trash, believe me.

Still, “Switchgrass” must be pretty bad with Machine Gun Kelly doesn’t like it. He’s not alone. On Rotten Tomatoes, “Switchgrass” — which boasts 25 producing credits — merited a lowly 13% among critics who forced themselves to see it.

This is the latest Bruce Willis “movie” to be made for no particular reason, using the “Die Hard” star as a lure but much else. It’s unclear how much Willis understands how these movies have diluted whatever legacy he had even in action films. There are now dozens of them, movies in which he shows up briefly, has little to say, was clearly filmed over one day, and so on. Yet he’s star billed and his picture is used in the posters and advertising.

Blogger Sean Burns wrote on Rotten Tomatoes: “I found myself envying Bruce Willis, who didn’t have to be around for any of this. Not even the scenes that he’s in.”

Willis seems so unaware of what movies he’s in and what their substance that he’s actually scheduled to be in one called “Bandits” having forgotten that he starred in a really good Barry Levinson movie back in 2001 called “Bandits” with Cate Blanchett and Billy Bob Thornton. Maybe he thinks it’s a remake of that one.

Here’s the trailer for “Switchgrass,” in which Willis barely speaks, or appears:

Joel Coen’s “Tragedy of Macbeth” With Denzel Washington and Frances McDormand to Open NY Film Festival

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Who doesn’t want to hear Frances McDormand exclaim, “Out damn spot!”

She’s playing Lady Macbeth and Denzel Washington is her put upon husband in “The Tragedy of Macbeth.” The movie, directed by McDormand’s husband Joel, is opening the New York Film Festival on September 24th.

McDormand now has three Oscars, the third of which came this past April with “Nomadland.” Can she make it four? It seems certain she’ll at least get a nomination. Denzel has two Oscars and is in the hunt for the third. If he comes to the premier, he’ll be bringing his large contingent of bodyguards, I’m sure. (I’ll never forget the opening of “Flight,” very amusing.)

This film, from Apple and A24, is a change of pace for Coen. He adapted Shakespeare’s Scottish play without his brother, Ethan, a rarity for sure. There are few other ‘name’ actors in the cast except for Brendan Gleeson and Corey Hawkins, who plays MacDuff.

Some things do remain the same: the great Carter Burwell composed the score.

A press release says: “Though it echoes the forbidding visual designs—and aspect ratios—of Laurence Olivier’s classic 1940s Shakespeare adaptations, as well as the bloody medieval madness of Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood, Coen’s tale of sound and fury is entirely his own—and undoubtedly one for our moment, a frightening depiction of amoral political power-grabbing that, like its hero, ruthlessly barrels ahead into the inferno.”

So set the Oscars countdown clock, and let’s get ready for the return of the NY Film Festival to Alice Tully Hall.

 

 

BTS Replaces Dud Version of “Permission to Dance” with Completely Different Mix Labelled “R&B”

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Korean KPop boyband BTS panicked when they realized their single “Permission to Dance” was a dud. Sales for two weeks come to 200,000 despite their insistence that it’s a hit. (No one likes the facts.)

So today they dropped a whole new version of the song, calling it the R&B version. No one in the group is Black and the song has nothing to do with actual R&B. But they’ve slowed it down and added a LOT of augmentation. It’s been remixed to sound like BoyzIIMen circa 1995.

This version went straight to number 5 on iTunes today. The old version is further down the chart.

Let’s see if the “R&B” version makes a difference. You can hear them each below, and compare away. What’s next? How about the country version?

Permission to Dance Original version

Permission to Dance (R&B version)

Van Morrison is Mad Northern Ireland is Trying to Stop COVID Spread, Forced to Cancel Concerts

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Van Morrison has been forced the government of Northern Ireland to cancel upcoming concerts in Ulster.

He’s angry that people are being prevented from getting COVID in super spreader situations. He’d rather they got together and sang “Moondance” between gasping coughs.

Van doesn’t care about science or safety. He’s just upset about “draconian restrictions.” Maybe he can play a gig at Eric Clapton’s house.

 

“Royals” Singer Lorde Strikes Out Again with New Single, “Stoned at the Nail Salon,” Fails to Chart on iTunes Top 100

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Oh Lorde.

The New Zealand born pop star, singer of the one hit wonder “Royals,” is having as bad a summer on the charts as Billie Eilish.

Lorde’s new single, “Stoned at the Nail Salon,” was released at midnight. It went to number 100 on iTunes and now is at 117. It’s basically DOA. UPDATE SATURDAY Now number 197.

This follows Lorde’s first single from her new album dying on the vine. The only difference was that “Solar Power” was ridiculed for being a rip off of George Michael’s classic hit, “Faith.”

So that’s two strikes before the album, also titled “Solar Power,” hits us on August 20th.

Eilish has had three flop singles in a row before her album, “Happier than Ever,” comes out on July 30th.

Where are all the teen girl fans? In Lorde’s case, it may just be she waited too long. Her last album, also not a hit, was four years ago. She didn’t secure her audience, and they grew up. Adele should take note.

 

McCartney III Imagined Re-launched Today After April Take Off Crashed (See Video)

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It’s deja vu all over again.

Back on April 16th, Paul McCartney released “McCartney III Imagined,” a version of his critically acclaimed  “McCartney III” album with other artists’ remixes.

Nothing happened. The album sold around 9,000 copies.

Today it’s being re-launched with a cool new video of Beck and McCartney’s remix of “Find My Way.” Maybe this will stimulate sales. It could be they backed off the April 16th date when they realized Paul’s wonderful Hulu documentary series would be on this month. Who knows?

Anyway, “McCartney III” should be nominated for the Grammys this coming year in Traditional Pop Album. It’s a terrific piece of work. “Imagined” is a lot of fun.

Box Office: Equally Awful “Snake Eyes” and “Old” Make $1.5 Million in Previews, Have Rotten Reviews

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It’s not going to be a celebratory weekend at the box office.

The new films — “Snake Eyes” and “Old” — each made $1.5 million in previews Thursday night.

They are poorly reviewed– they’re bad movies in different ways. “Snake Eyes,” which I haven’t seen, scored a 40 on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics derided it.

“Old,” directed by M. Night Shyamalan, got a higher number — 56– which is still pretty bad.

I watched “Old” two nights ago and was seriously shocked how terrible it was. The cast is excellent, it’s not their fault. They are all terrific actors including Gael Garcia Bernal, Rufus Sewell, Vicki Krieps, Ken Leung from “Lost,” and Alex Wolff.

The problem is the premise and how cheap it all looks. They’re all on a Fantasy Island vacation. The manager sends them to a special beach where they are trapped. They can’t leave. Indeed, the guy who drops them off is Shyamalan himself in his Hitchcock role.

Immediately bad things happen, and I don’t mean sunburn. A dead woman floats up from the water. The three children in the group suddenly start aging, which means the actors playing them get switched out. Vicky Krieps’ character suddenly has a tumor that must be removed, which is insane. One of the quickly grown girls becomes pregnant (immaculate conception) and gives birth.

All the adults start aging. One of them gets dementia. But really, it’s the studio executives who greenlit this thing who had dementia. The story is banal, rote, uninteresting. It’s also cheap cheap cheap. Most of it takes place on the beach. There are no sets. There’s minimal special effects. The actors get points for trying to sell what is basically an acting class, trying to convince the audience something is happening.

Credit goes to the make up artists and lighting directors. They’ve worked overtime to make this silliness convincing. But really, if you’ve seen the TV series, “Lost,” this is tame stuff with even less explanation. At the end, Shyamalan attempts to explain what’s happened, but there’s no twist, no big revelation. You just wonder why you wasted your time.

Shymalan’s movies, other than “The Sixth Sense,” simply elude me. Almost all of them are the Emperor’s New Clothes, a lot of hype amounting to not much.

Kanye West’s Record Label Stays Mum on Release Date of “Donda,” Same Thing Happened One Year Ago This Week

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Def Jam Records has no idea what the deal is with Kanye West‘s Donda album.

This morning they sent out a press release saying only that Kanye had “unveiled” the album last night at  sold out listening party.

Other than that there was no word about when or if the album would ever be released.

There’s something on the release about Kanye beating the Beatles or some nonsense. LOL. Don’t get me started.

It’s possible this is a seasonal disorder for Kanye. He did the same thing last year almost to the day– announced the album’s release and then nothing happened.  Read here and here.

Kanye also said last September — he may not recall — that he wouldn’t release any more music until his contracts with Sony and Universal were up. Anyone remember that?

 

 

Kanye Tagged for Ridiculous Overpriced Snack Bar at Non Listening Party: 40 Bucks for a Hot Dog

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Kanye West‘s disastrous non listening party tonight featured a ridiculous over priced snack bar.

Forty bucks for a kosher hot dog? Sixty five bucks for an assorted snack basket? Fifty dollars for chicken tenders?

Did people actually spend this money for this crap food? Unbelievable. And very Trumpian, really! And in the end, no album was released.

It’s not even clear if there was a whole album ready for release. As you’ll see in my later items, Kanye did the exact same thing one year ago this week. He promised a “Donda” album, made a big PR splash, offered cover art and track lists, and nothing came of it. It may be some kind of seasonal bipolar disorder.

As for the snacks, what a fool believes…and yes there is a sucker born every minute…

Deja Vu: Kanye West Lures Fans to Atlanta Stadium, Arrives an Hour Late, and Doesn’t Release Promised Album

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The Kanye West listening party is over. Nothing happened. The fans were duped.

The album promised, called “Donda,” was not released. Thousands packed Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta, many for free.

West was an hour late arriving. When he did, the album — or something — was played so loudly that no one could hear the lyrics, according to observers.

Kanye appeared and stood in the center of the stadium field wearing an orange snow suit jacket. The field was covered in white, as if it were fake snow.


Will there be an album? Donde esta Donda? Or was this just a big bipolar ego adventure? There’s a sucker born every minute.