(UPDATED 5/28)

It would be easy to slag the final Indiana Jones movie. James Mangold directs. Harrison Ford returns for his fifth outing. Phoebe Waller Bridge is now his frenemy and goddaughter, the child of his old pal Basil Shaw (Toby Jones). And there’s a happy, inevitable ending.

But what did you expect? Metaverse? Actually you’ve got it. Amazingly, Indy is de-aged so that we get the whole back story. The filmmakers did a great job. Ford looks convincingly younger than he did in “Raiders.:

Mangold and Co do resolve a big issue from the 4th film : what happened to Shia LaBeouf’s Muff, Indy and Marion’s presumed son? It’s explained succinctly and is used as a plot device. Mangold is an accomplished director of “Walk the Line,” “Copland,” “The Wolverine,” etc. As he said in his press conference today. he grew up a fan of “Indiana Jones.” As such. he has brought in the final chapter, hitting all the right notes to get to the end.

A lot of people forget “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was a send up and tribute to B movie reels from the 40s and 50s. It was full of set pieces. Dial of Destiny is, too, and they’re pretty clever even when the matte-ing or CGI seems a little wonky. Scenes set in New York, in the subway, with Indy on a galloping horse, and the whole sequence on racing train. are definitely in tune with the feel of Raiders.

There are nods to the first three films which fans will love, including Indy’s hatred of snakes. There’s also a smart smart preteen, reference to Short Round from chapter 3. Waller Bridge’s “Wombat” may be a little stodgy and under developed but her character is a device, not a romance interest. The movie is about Harrison Ford, and he remains one of the last few great movie stars.

As a device even Waller Bridge is stiff. Her character is non functional. She just looks wrong for the part. How did stout little Basil produce this statuesque daughter? Plus, Waller Bridge, known for “Fleabag” isn’t funny or endearing. From the beginning she has no emotional attachment to Indy, and that bears out as the movie sludges along.

Basically, “Dial of Destiny” is just a compendium of old bits from the earlier films. That it ends at all is a blessing. Karen Allen returns as Marion (no surprise) so that she and Indy can nod off on a couch together. (Allen should have been in the movie instead of Waller Bridge.) And here’s a question for ever: Indy was with Marion in “Raiders” (and had a kid), then he was with the Kate Capshaw character, followed by the unfortunately named Allison Doody (what happened to her anyway?)

So by all means go see “Dial of Destiny” if you need to know how LucasFilm ended this mess. Or just watch the first three films and appreciate them for what they were — real magic.

There were almost fist fights the other day to see the one and only screening of Pedro Almodovar’s gay cowboy movie, “A Strange Way of Life.”

Now that the short film — 30 minutes — has only negative review (of 8), Cannes and Pathe and maybe even Sony Pictures Classics has suddenly added two more screenings.

You can read my review here. “Strange Way” isn’t a bad movie. It’s beautifully made. But as Peter DeBruge of Variety also says, “The use of models instead of actors betrays what this really is: a branding exercise, both for Almodóvar and costumier Vaccarello, plus two stars eager to show their allyship.’

The fashion house of Yves Saint Laurent paid for the movie. There are indeed a lot of male models. Character in the Wild West are the best groomed cowboys in history. Even Michael Landon didn’t look this good in “Bonanza.” And sticking with 30 minutes, the film just looks like an add on to “Brokeback Mountain.” So why bother?

Now that more critics who were boxed out of the original screening get to see it, I wonder how the numbers will change for “A Strange Way of Life.” Frankly, being at Cannes is more of A Strange Way of Life than that movie. Unless you’re a cosmetic dentist sent back in time from 2023 to 1870.

EXCLUSIVE Harrison Ford is one of our last great movie stars.

Even though “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” got tepid applause last in Cannes, Ford got ovations. Everyone loves him and he still has “it.” He and wife Calista Flockhart, who was there by his side and lovely as ever, were the main attractions all night, even at a swanky party later at the Hotel Carlton Beach Club.

I told Ford that the press had received pickle ball sets from Apple for his “Shrinking” series. He lit up when I told him I was a fan. “It’s great, isn’t it?” he said. When I mentioned among others “Witness” and “Presumed Innocent” as two of my favorites of his, he replied: “They”re all my favorites.”

Flockhart and I talked about her desire to play Betty Ford in a biopic. She’d be perfect. I’ve known her a long time now, and every time we talk she’s dynamic, funny, and interesting. I asked how she liked Indiana Jones being de-aged in the movie. “The funny thing,” she said, “is that he looks younger than all his sons now!”

Also at the party: Disney chief Bob Iger flew in and was huddled in conversation with Karlie Kloss. Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who stars with Ford in the film, was there with significant other playwright director Martin McDonagh (Banshees of Inisherin), who– when I asked what he was up to — said, “I’m done! I’m on vacation!” So all our fingers are safe. Co-star Mads Mikkelsen was just groovin’ knowing he’s in a big hit.

Not there: the surprise actor who appears at the end of the film. I told you about his months ago. But I won’t spoil the fun.

UPDATE: There are 8 filed reviews on Rotten Tomatoes from the few critics allowed in last night’s screening. So far the score is 50% and Rotten. Three of the four negativos come from Variety. The Hollywood Reporter, and Vanity Fair. None of the reviews mention director James Mangold’s really fine movies like “Copland” and “Walk the Line.” They just don’t think he was right for this movie.

Some people may have wanted a sequel to “Brokeback Mountain.” I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean anything.

Pedro Almodovar obviously did, and the fashion house of Saint Laurent paid for it. “Strange Way of Living” had one screening today in Cannes. It runs about 30 minutes. I’m told it will probably be packaged for theatrical release with Almodovar’s classic, “Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown.”

The story: in the Wild West, Ethan Hawke, with a Colonel Sanders goatee, is the sheriff in town. He finds out that his late brother’s wife has been murdered. The culprit turns to be the male model looking son of Hawke’s old cowboy lover, played by Pedro Pascal. The latter arrives to head off his son’s arrest, and he and Ethan rekindle their flame after 25 years apart.

The drama comes when the son is caught by Ethan, who has to decide if he’s going to kill his liver’s child. There’s a three way shootout. I won’t tell you what happens. But it’s all slightly preposterous.

So, too, is the music, which swells up as if it’s part of a Spanish soap opera. The opening credits seem like a Quentin Tarantino movie. But of course, Almodovar directs with his own iconic imprint, and the cinematography is lush. The clothes are more Ralph Lauren than Saint Laurent, but boutique tie-ins seem inevitable.

When the movie opens, a good looking young man is singing a Spanish song. This is supposed to be the rough and tumble West, but this guy has straight gleaming white teeth and good cheek bones. Before the film played, Almodovar appeared on stage with Hawke and a bunch of male models who have parts in the movies. Combined, their teeth could light up Chicago. Who knew there was such good dentistry in the 1870s, in mining towns?

A panel discussion took place after the film screened. Two French women I don’t know flanked Ethan and Pedro. The women talked as if they were giving a college lecture. I didn’t know what they were saying but several times I heard the words, “Brokeback Mountain.” Anyone who thinks this little short is anything but a riff on that Oscar nominated movie has had too much tequila. I don’t know why it was made. And I don’t think Saint Laurent fashion house should be producing movies.