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CATFIGHT IN CANNES–JURY CHAOS; OPRAH, MARIAH BLAME IT ON CANADA

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CATFIGHT IN CANNES: JURY CHAOS

The 2009 Cannes Film Festival seemed a little boring on the face of it, but now we have an out-and-out catfight leading up to tonight’s closing ceremony.

The Croisette is buzzing (finally! sacre bleu!) because head juror Isabelle Huppert has refused to let another Isabelle, Adjani, present the Palme d’Or award at the show.

In fact, Huppert, I am told, won’t allow any other French actresses on the stage tonight at the Palais. I’m not kidding when I tell you this, either. Apparently, Huppert is loathed by her fellow jurors and by the Festival officials.

The result: a call went out around town to find all the male actors from movies that played here over the last two weeks who are still in town.

Luckily, several of the actors from Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” have stuck around, hopeful their movie will win a prize or two tonight. Even’ Tarantino is still here, as well as many of the Basterds–except for Brad Pitt. He and Angelina Jolie left immediately for New York on Friday because Jolie is filming “Salt” and, well, they have six children. Someone had to look after them!

But the Cannes Catfight is a great French saga here. Several French films are in the running for prizes. Not only that: the ceremony is in French! Like the opening night, it’s a big deal.

So, at last: some drama for the big finale. Me? I’m sitting next to a good translator, that’s for sure!

OPRAH, MARIAH, AMFAR BLAME IT ON CANADA

The annual Amfar dinner, “Cinema Against AIDS,” took a hit financially this year, with only $4.5 million in receipts. Hey–$4.5 mil is better than nothing, I say. Anyway, AmFar will soldier on through the recession. The word is they’re planning a “Cinema Against AIDS” at this year’s Toronto Film Festival in early September. The dinner will probably not be hosted by Harvey Weinstein, who they say wants to keep his AmFar I.D. with Cannes. That’s smart. Toronto should have a whole different cast of characters. They certainly have a lot of musical talent to draw on.

And — guess who’s coming to the Great North? Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry will be on hand to present Lee Daniels’ “Precious” in a big way. This wonderful film is a lock for lots of awards later this year. And since Mariah Carey is so good in it, maybe she can be the AmFar performer! Wouldn’t that be a hot ticket, and a great way to raise money for AIDS research?

‘ANTICHRIST’ STAR WILL PRESENT CANNES AWARD

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UPDATE: ”ANTICHRIST” STAR TO PRESENT CANNES AWARD

Willem Dafoe, star of the excoriated, much-loathed film, “Antichrist,” will present the Best Actress Award tonight, and Isabelle Huppert herself will give the Palme D’or.

HEATH LEDGER’S LAST FILM: EERIE OVERTONES

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HEATH LEDGER’S LAST FILM HAS EERIE OVERTONES

The first time you see Heath Ledger in his final film, “The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus,” he’s hanging from a rope with a noose around his neck under a London bridge. Could it be any weirder? It was right after he filmed half of his scenes that Ledger returned to New York on a break and died of an accidental overdose of pills.

parnassus 300x160 HEATH LEDGERS LAST FILM: EERIE OVERTONESNow “Parnassus” has been completed by director Terry Gilliam with three actors–Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law–filling out Ledger’s role.

We saw it this morning at Cannes and, it’s nice to say, the movie is a whimsical treat, a lot of fun, and probably makes just as much sense now as it would have if Ledger had been around to finish it.

It’s a sensational visual romp, recalling Gilliam’s best Monty Python work as well as his most successful movies.

At the press conference following this morning’s screening, Gilliam admitted that when Ledger died, he was going to stop the movie entirely. Cooler heads prevailed luckily, and the three guest stars were called in to do their work.

But it is true that the bridge scene and some of the dialogue in the film has ominous and portentous connections, much stuff about living your life, what death means, and the bridge scene doesn’t help. But Gilliam says that’s the movie Ledger signed on for and that’s what he had to complete in his memory.

Indeed, at the end of “Parnassus,” a card reads “a film from Heath Ledger and friends.”

For the time that Ledger is on screen, he’s very good of course, although the whole thing is a little trippy, psychedelic and disjointed. But it’s also not that hard to follow. Gilliam made lemonade from lemons, which wasn’t easy. And in the end, it’s better to have “Dr. Parnassus” than not in his resume and for us to enjoy.

The sad part, of course, is that Ledger just had a limitless future. Between this, “The Dark Knight, ” and “Brokeback Mountain,”’ his career was set up for anything.

There’s a whole other cast to “Parnassus” including talented young British actors Andrew Garfield and Lily Cole, as well as “Mini-Me” Verne Troyer, all of whom assist Dr. Parnassus–the wonderful Christopher Plummer–in his transcendental carnival act, sending people into his imagination. The film is full of cool tricks and animation, not to mention some Monty Python-like gems. Hopefully it will get a decent release in the U.S. by someone who appreciates and loves Gilliam’s sensibilities. We need them.

SHARON STONE: PHASING OUT HER AIDS WORK?

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SHARON STONE COULD BE CHANGING HER CHARITIES

Is Sharon Stone getting ready to leave AmFar and her AIDS fundraising for new ventures?

Last night, Stone hosted the annual Cannes AmFar dinner for the 14th year. She took over the charity’s celebrity fundraising’several years ago from Elizabeth Taylor.

But now Stone is telling pals she’s seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with a possible AIDS vaccine. At the same time, she’s concentrating her humanitarian efforts now on bringing clean drinking water to Africa.

AmFar would’not be the same without Stone, whose high powered auctions and her endless energy have brought the group millions. They’d be hard–pressed to’find a replacement, that’s for sure.

But some AmFar insiders have grumbled in recent years that Stone’s wild “performances” at auctions and dinners have alienated some — they think she’s too aggressive. But the proof is in the pudding. On Thursday night, Stone cooled her regular bit and held back, letting professional auctioneer Jamie Niven handle the night. The result was a 50% drop in revenue from last year.

Perhaps if Stone had done her usual thing, and also had some interaction with Bill Clinton on stage, AmFar would have more money in the till this morning. You never know!

RIHANNA’S EARRINGS FROM HER ARREST HIT CANNES

Rihanna didn’t go to the Cannes Film Festival, but her earrings did.

The large dangling’ earrings that Rihanna borrowed from H. Stern have been in the police impound since February 8th–the night she was allegedly attacked by boyfriend Chris Brown.

But this week in Cannes, the earrings made their return’to the red carpet. A top Hollywood agent borrowed them herself from H. Stern as soon as the LAPD gave them back.

BRANGELINA, PENELOPE NOT PREGNANT; WILL TARANTINO CUT HIS MOVIE?

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BRANGELINA: NOT PREGNANT, BUT PROUD

The biggest question on the Croisette last night’other than Will Quentin Tarantino please cut ten minutes out of his movie?’was: Is Angelina Jolie pregnant? (This was followed closely by: Have she and Brad Pitt been separated?)

First, the answer to the more important of these questions: Quentin Tarantino should cut at least ten minutes from his two and a half hour self-proclaimed masterpiece, ‘Inglourious Basterds.’ The cuts are not so much about the length, because with Tarantino you can watch and watch hypnotically. It’s all about edits to make the film ‘ a fantasy in which the Jews rage against Hitler and his associates, finally killing them’more about Pitt’s band of Basterds including Eli Roth and Michael Fassbender‘and a little less about French actress Melanie Laurent‘s story line concerning the blowing up of a Paris cinema.

But Brad and Angie: she is not pregnant, they are very happy, she is proud of him. He is proud to have evolved into a character actor, and a very deft comedian.

‘It’s so much easier,’ he told me, ‘and satisfying.’ This conversation took place after the wildly successful premiere screening of ‘Basterds’ at the Palais, the craziest night on the red carpet since last year’s screening of ‘Changeling’ with Brad, Jolie, and director Clint Eastwood. The red carpet was already buzzing with the annual arrival of Sharon Stone, as well as many French celebrities and the jury. So many gowns, so little time!

And then Tarantino and Melanie Laurent hit the runway and performed a crazy ‘Pulp Fiction’ inspired jitterbug to Ennio Morricone instrumental spaghetti western music, and the place just went, well, nuts. Inside the Palais, hundreds of seated guests clapped watching the whole pas de deux on the giant video screen. Laurent, who’s 26, wore a white pants suit (she changed later into a hot little dress). No question about it: she’s a find. She’s what Sienna Miller wants to be, the serious little blonde actress.

Tarantino was greeted inside the theatre by thunderous applause and a long standing ovation before ‘IB’ even started playing. It took quite a while to get everyone calmed down and seated. Then, the two and a half hour movie that is often brilliant, sometimes inspires you to mutter ‘cut’ during long scenes, and then ends with several bangs. A ten minute standing ovation followed, with everyone in the cast and the folks from Universal and the Weinstein Company weeping and high fiving.

But in realite: ‘Inglorious Basterds’ could use a little snipping, not the self mutilation of Lars von Trier’s ‘Anti-Christ.’ But the steady hand of an AVID operator wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

And then the party, at a Beach club across from what used to be called the Noga Hilton, a huge white sixties type building of such fascinating ugliness that if it were in Manhattan the Landmarks Commission might to start to argue for its preservation. However, it is now called the Princess Stephanie after an 80s disco chrome and smoked glass makeover.

The wine and Champagne flowed, the hors d’oeuvres were in less attendance than needed, but the deejay was sensational. The result was the party of the festival so far, a real St. Tropez style celebration that mixed celebrities through a room of guests dressed in black tie and gowns, along with the scantily clad women of the Cannes night who somehow make into these things, ‘haven’t seen the movie yet,’ and are maybe unaware that a film festival is taking place somewhere in town.

The sprawling ‘Basterds’ cast took positions everywhere, from Brad and Angelina to Mike Myers (he’s a surreal kind of wax figure British aristocrat war secretary during one of Tarantino’s digressions) to young Eli Roth–who fancies himself a modern Louie B. Mayer-slash-Roger Corman, B.J. Novak of ‘The Office’ fame, Diane Kruger with boyfriend Joshua Jackson (ex of ‘Dawson’s Creek’ now the star of the cult hit ‘Fringe’ on TV). Laurent, and German actor Christoph Waltz who steals ‘Inglorious Basterds’ as the antagonist Nazi Colonel Landa the way Ralph Fiennes did fifteen years ago in ‘Schindler’s List.’

And here’s the thing about Christoph Waltz‘s Landa: you love him, but you hate him. Tarantino makes a point in ‘Inglourious Basterds’ that Bryan Singer and Christopher McQuarrie didn’t get in ‘Valkyrie’: there are no good Nazis. Landa is almost a send up of Tom Cruise’s von Stauffenberg, who wanted to kill Hitler but failed miserably. Landa’s trajectory from zealot to sell out is the most fascinating part of ‘Basterds,’ other than Brad Pitt’s hilarious, trance state impersonation of a deep South military man overreaching his position. (Watch for Pitt as he nails it in a Marx Brothers moment in Armani formal wear. It’s lovely.)

Wait! You don’t care about any of this. All you want to know is that at the party, Brad and Angie were seated in a corner behind a velvet rope, as if they were the furniture you’re not supposed to sit on in a historical home. Angie remained on a divan, smiling and chatting cautiously. She has a look on her face of a royal Cheshire cat. She was simply tolerating everyone to be supportive of Brad. Her cartoon Thought Balloon just reads: ‘Sigh.’

Brad, on the other hand, is gregarious and polite. He comes forward to shake hands as he recognizes people from the real world. When the idiot French bulldozers of security attempt to repel oncomers, Brad’in black tie’makes a small, suggestive royal wave that indicates, That’s okay, this person is not here to accost me, they’re alright.

He has to sort of kneel with one knee as he shakes your hand because there’s another divan set up as a barricade just behind the velvet rope and you are not coming in. He is coming to you. Angie is in the background, nodding to a stranger who’s probably telling her in French, Italian, or German how much they loved ‘Tomb Raider.’ Her cartoon balloon is fully inflated.

Brad is beaming. ‘I love QT, he’s quite a man,’ he says of Tarantino. ‘Now I’ve done him and the Coen brothers.’ The biggest male sex symbol movie star in the world has become Zany. He loves it. ‘It’s QT. He just knows everything about film, more than we’ll ever know. He’s an encyclopedia.’

But he’s been away from Angie for too long. On the red carpet, Pitt would wander away from her for a nanosecond, then return quickly and grab her hand. And now he’s doing the same thing. She’s not pregnant, they’re not separating, the tabloids are disappointed. But he’s retreated from the rope, and he’s back where he belongs, by her side.

PENLOPE ISN’T PREGNANT EITHER; MIKE MYERS SOFT HEART FOR SOFT CORE

In the end,’ Oscar winner Penelope Cruz– not pregnant but suffering from stomach flu and on antibiotics– did a day of press on Wednesday for ‘Broken Embraces,’ but cancelled today’s interviews. She made her way back to Madrid where she can have the Spanish equivalent of tea and toast (which might be tea and toast). She has to rest up for ‘Nine’ this fall, after all’

Mike Myers also looked a little green during all the ‘Basterds’ commotion. That’s because he literally jetted in to Cannes for a 48 hour press wave, and will leave again shortly. Through the ‘Basterds’ press conference, on the red carpet, and again at the party, Myers appeared discomfited. He did have with him his very cute and personable girlfriend, Kelly, who runs a vegan restaurant on New York’s Lower East Side with Moby, the electropop musical star. She told me they’ve been together for three years.

So what’s Mike up to? ‘I’m remaking the movie ‘Emmanuelle’,‘ he said, with a straight face. ‘We’re taking footage from the film and cutting in new footage. There’s a press conference tomorrow at 4pm to announce it.’ Who’s financing this unusual effort? A studio? ‘Canal Plus right now. But MGM I think in the future.’ And the rights to ‘Emmanuelle’? ‘It’s taken care of,’ he said. ‘We’ve got it.’

JACKO START DATE PUSHED BACK–WE TOLD YA

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JACKO PUSHES BACK START DATE FOR LONDON SHOWS

I told you two weeks ago–Michael Jackson’s London shows are being pushed back to July 13 start–from July 8th. This came as a “surprise” to TMZ.com and other blogs’ but they read it in this column on May 5th and on May 11th. Hello!

I like that TMZ.com also says that the dates were pushed back because there are fears that Jackson can’t physically get through a whole show. I doubt that either Harvey Levin or I could get through a three-hour’ show like Michael’s, but I am assured the former King of Pop can do it. The reason for the postponement is because the sets won’t be ready.

Blogs equal speculation masquerading as fact.

WHO’S NAMED FOR WHO IN NEW TARANTINO FILM

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TARANTINO’S PEOPLE: WHO’S WHO IN ‘BASTERDS’

Here’s just a beginning glossary of who’s been named what or why by Quentin Tarantino in “Inglourious Basterds”:

Brad Pitt’s character, Aldo Raine, is of course named for the Italian actor, Aldo Ray. Hence, our Aldo volunteers to speak Italian, even though he can’t.

There’s a PFC Hirschberg named for New York Times Magazine writer and Tarantino close friend Lynn Hirschberg. Another character, Francesca Mondino is named for photographer Jean-Baptiste Mondino.

Daniel Bruhl plays Frederick Zoller, who seems to be named for Broadway producer Fred Zollo, a close friend of Eli Roth, one of the film’s co-stars.

There are also a few references to the Weinstein family: a baby has just been born named Max, the father of Harvey Weinstein. There’s also a Bob and Miriam, Harvey’s brother and mother.

Mike Myers plays General Ed Fenech, named for Edward Fenech Adami, the president of Malta, where “Inglourious” was filmed.

There’s also a German soldier named Edgar Wallace, whose namesake was a famous writer at the turn of the century. The original Edgar Wallace wrote the first screenplay for “King Kong,” a character that figures in a bar parlor game in the movie.

Actor Til Schweiger plays Hugo Stiglitz the only character whose name occasions a gigantic call out name card on screen in the middle of a scene. The real Stiglitz is a very famous Mexican actor and director from the kinds of obscure films Tarantino loves–and only he knows about.

There are a few I’ve missed–which I’m also sure Tarantians have already figured out. A good parlor game–maybe as much fun as the one in the movie!

TARANTINO’S ‘BASTERDS’ MORE BRAIN THAN BRAWN

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Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” is a big, sprawling entertainment that’s less violent than you’d expect and a tad more intellectual, too. It’s the most ambitious American movie at this year’s Cannes Film Festival and definitely the best in competition. Tarantino fans won’t be disappointed, but they may be challenged more than in the past as this film is more thoughtful and textured in its approach than Tarantino’s other famous efforts.

First the good news: Brad Pitt is excellent and well-used as the lead “Basterd,” Aldo Raine, who hails from Tennessee with a strong Southern accent. Pitt proves a deft comic character once again, and Tarantino plays his star card just enough as Aldo’s gang goes out to kill Nazis on behalf of the U.S. Army with glee and abandon.

But Tarantino offers up a number of surprisingly good supporting players who carry “IB” from beginning to end, including Christoph Waltz as a witty but murderous Nazi commander and Melanie Laurent as the young Jewish woman who is not only his nemesis but the film’s determined heroine. They each make indelible impressions.

The film is told in chapters and feels sometimes disjointed. There’s less brutal action than expected (although plenty for some). The longest and most riveting sequence takes place in a German bar and involves Diane Kruger as a German film star who’s trying to help the allies. As Lt. Archie Hicox, Michael Fassbender is top notch driving this piece, which will definitely push his career ahead several paces.

Of course, as in any Tarantino film, there are references galore to Spaghetti Westerns, obscure texts and cinema heroes. Fifties Hollywood icon Rod Taylor even appears as Winston Churchill. Comedian Mike Myers makes a very good cameo as an aristocratic British war secretary.

“IB” is a fairy tale at heart. Nothing about it is historically correct. Tarantino makes it a “meta” experience as film, he claims, as an incendiary weapon could have changed World War II, saved the world and rewritten history. That’s heavy for Quentin Tarantino but maybe its also a sign he’s grown up.

PENELOPE’S ‘NINE’ REVEALED BUT SHE MISSES TASTE TEST

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PENELOPE GETS FOOD POISONING, MISSES ‘NINE’ SHOW

Penelope Cruz missed the Weinstein Company’s presentation of footage from the musical ‘Nine’ yesterday. Instead, Oscar winner Marion Cotillard filled in for her at the modest offices TWC rents each year off the Croisette. About 100 people showed up to see what we’ve all been wondering about: footage from Rob Marshall’s shoot.

And no one can say they were disappointed: ‘Nine’ looks simply amazing. Today a new trailer goes up on the Internet. We were shown that as well as a featurette made up for the occasion of other scenes, backstage stuff, a little bit inside and backstage from the movie musical.

One thing’s for sure: the women of ‘Nine’ are going to be a formidable group come November. The footage is exciting and sexy, a little reminiscent of Marshall’s Oscar-winning ‘Chicago’ and then different enough stylistically to suggest that ‘Nine’ may be explosive.

Interestingly, while Cruz, Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, and the others ‘ as well as Daniel Day-Lewis‘commanded attention in these clips, none other than Dame Judi Dench looked like she will have an integral role in the final cut.

JIM CARREY SNOWS US

In Cannes, Christmas comes just twice a year: in December, but first in May when Disney takes over the Croisette in front of the Carlton Hotel, plops down a Christmas tree, and snows on everything until even in 80 degree heat the Cote d’Azur is a winter wonderland.

That’s what happened yesterday when, in an old-fashioned publicity stunt, the Mouse House launched its promotion for ‘A Christmas Carol’ directed by Robert Zemeckis.

Both Carrey and co-stars Colin Firth and Robin Wright Penn arrived in motorized old-fashioned carriages while snow machines blew white snow powder flakes in large tufts around them and over their heads. It was a brave effort to try and enliven an otherwise depressing year in Cannes devoid of much fluff or chicanery costing more than fifty cents.

Inside the Carlton it was a matter of waiting a bit as the main ballroom filled up. Then a few scenes from ‘A Christmas Carol,’ which is made in stop-capture animation, were revealed on a large screen.

It’s hard to judge the film based on the edited presentation, but my first thought ‘ especially from the movie’s poster’is that the animators may have based their concept on the hideous commercial art of Thomas Kinkade. God bless everyone of us including Tiny Tim if this is the case because, in addition to that, the animation and music spelled ‘very scary’ for a story that’s supposed to charm small children.

Zemeckis has filmed ‘ACC’ in 3D. For the second time in a week the audience was photographed in advance wearing uncomfortable sunglasses with red and blue lenses. Last week, Disney/Pixar’s ‘Up’ was shown in 3D as well. ‘ACC’ is from a new Disney animation venture that’s just been formed in Northern California with Zemeckis designed to remake old Disney movies this way. What’s next? Probably the return of Quadrophonic sound.

PAUL ALLEN’S YACHT PARTY FOR THE B LIST

Paul Allen isn’t green in so many ways. The Microsoft billionaire has lost lots of money. He also runs several yachts including the 413-foot Octopus, one of the biggest boats in the world.

Allen has a home ‘ an estate ‘ near Cannes, so every year he has a big party on the Octopus for Eurotrash. This year was no exception since Allen doesn’t know from recession. Down at the Cannes port, dozens of scantily clad blondes piled up to be checked in and taken to the Octopus by shuttle boats. More ways by which Allen burned up fuel unnecessarily, and turned the Mediterranean into a gas station.

Unfortunately this year there aren’t so many celebs in Cannes to make such a party remarkable. And last night they were spread thin. Penelope Cruz, sick from food poisoning, made a quick appearance at the Hollywood Domino party for GlobalGreen, then went home to prepare for her big day today premiering in Pedro Almodovar’s ‘Broken Embraces.’

That left the usual suspects of the last few days: Ubiquitous Movie Star Paris Hilton, who told guests she was ‘about to sell a movie,’ plus Quentin Tarantino, Tilda Swinton, Brigitte Lacombe, Mick Jagger, Colin Firth, to mix in with the hoi polloi–or should I say, Oy polloi? Paparazzi stood on the dock, praying for a big name to show up. Sure enough, the appearance of Robert Pattinson, the Luke Perry of 2009, did the trick. There was such a frenzy following in Patty’s wake that the photogs knocked over a huge planter onto the sidewalk, along with a stanchion.

On the positive side, I’m told Allen, an awkward social presence at best. was not there. This meant no performance by the tone deaf billionaire rock star and his pick-up band of musicians who cover him. That must have been some relief to those present.

Still, it was nice of Allen to share what’s left of his funds with young strangers in high heels and too short dresses. Forbes recently dropped from No. 19 to No. 32 on their list of top billionaires. They say he’s lost 36% of his wealth in the last year. He’s down to his last $10.5 billion. Yikes! Time to start clipping coupons.

FAREWELL

I couldn’t end today’s column without bidding farewell to a great friend and an institution in Hollywood, Lee Solters. The famed PR man was 89. Lee’s history in the business covers everyone from Frank Sinatra to Michael Jackson. He was publicist for the latter in the ‘Thriller’ era right through Jackson’s embarrassing times in the ’90s with the Chandler investigation, hyperbaric chambers and Elephant Man bones. Lee was one of the Hollywood good guys, with a heart of gold and a tremendous sense of humor. I will miss him. He won’t be forgotten.

MICK JAGGER’S SLY SMILE PERFECT FOR NEW ‘MONA LISA’

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MICKEY ROURKE’WANTS’SATISFACTION FROM MICK JAGGER

Mickey Rourke is still living the dream after his near-win Oscar for ‘The Wrestler’ this year.

Rourke, as we know, is the villain in the second ‘Iron Man’ movie with Robert Downey, Jr.

But one of his other projects that’s being fast-tracked is a remake of the 1986 cult hit, ‘Mona Lisa.’ Rourke has the Bob Hoskins role of the cab driver. Eva Green, of recent James Bond fame, fills the memorable shoes of the call girl played by Sammi Davis. (Remember Sammi? She was also one of the stars of John Boorman’s 1987 classic, ‘Hope and Glory.’)

And who do Rourke and director Larry Clark want for the Michael Caine part? Why, none other than Mick Jagger. Mick and his producing partner Victoria Pearman are said to be reading the script by Clark and David Reeves and considering saying yes.

It’s a pretty good idea, really. The new ‘Mona Lisa’ moves from London to New York. Jagger gets to play a sophisticated gangster. Mick always has had the acting bug even though he’s only appeared in a handful of films including ‘Performance’ and ‘Ned Kelly’ back in 1970, and more recently’actually 2001”The Man from Elysian Fields’ and ‘Engima.’

I ran into the timeless Rolling Stones leader this week in Cannes, where he and statuesque ladyfriend L’Wren Scott are the houseguest of famed international photographer and personality Johnny Pigozzi. Eternally youthful, the 65 year old grandfather looks ready for just about anything. Here’s hoping he signs-or sings’on the dotted line.

By the way, the ‘Mona Lisa’ producers would do well to get Jagger to record a few songs for their soundtrack. A couple of years ago he and Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics did just that for the remake of ‘Alfie’ with Jude Law. The songs turned out better than the movie, and wound up winning awards and garnering rave reviews.

JULIAN LENNON IS A SOMEWHERE MAN

Last night on the Croisette, Julian Lennon either experienced kismet or instant karma.

John Lennon’s eldest son was in Cannes, and accepted an invitation to come over from the posh Hotel 314 to a party at one of the beach clubs’called for this week, inelegantly, Plage Vitaminwater. (It’s called branding, kids.)

It was only as he approached the club, Julian told me later, that he realized the party was to announce completion of ‘Nowhere Boy,’ a new film about his dad’s early days in Liverpool coming from The Weinstein Company next year. It’s based on a memoir by Lennon’s sister, Julia, that was published in the 1980s.

‘When I saw the pictures of the four young lads, I realized what was going on,’ said Julian, who was a decided sport about the whole thing. He was soon sitting in a little roped off area with famed actress Kristin Scott Thomas, who plays his dad’s legendary Aunt Mimi. Pretty weird, huh?

‘I really didn’t know about the movie,’ Julian told me. ‘So I took out my phone and called my mother in Spain”that’s Cynthia Lennon, John’s first wife”and asked her what it was. She knew all about it.’

In case you’re wondering, Julian’who had big hits in the 1980s’is working on his first album release in 10 years. ‘It should be out in January,’ he said. ‘We’re working on doing it right, with the right kind of label and release.’ You can hear a couple of the very catchy songs on Julian’s MySpace page.

As for the Beatles, Julian also told me he was very pleased to receive a birthday card from Paul McCartney this year. Lennon turned 46 on April 8th. ‘He actually wrote, ‘It’s been too long, we have to get together.’ It was so nice of him.’

RACHEL WEISZ IS NOT AGORA-PHOBIC

The big premiere in Cannes last night was Alejandro Amenabar’s historic big-scale epic, called ‘Agora.’ It comes to the Croisette with a budget of over $70 million, paid for with Spanish money. You can see it all up on the screen, too, every bit of it: the sets, built in Malta, are spectacular. There are amazing costumes and tons of real extras, not computer generated.

‘Agora’ tells the story of Hypatia, the fourth century A.D. female scholar and astronomer who lived in Alexandria, Egypt. Hypatia found herself in the center of wars among the Christians, Jews, and Pagans. She was such an intellectual that for a while she was the rare woman to whom men deferred to in a decidedly chauvinistic time.

Rachel Weisz, who was nominated for an Oscar in ‘The Constant Gardener,’ is absolutely luminous as Hypatia. It’s a rare role for an actress, and Weisz is superb. She truly lights up the screen and carries the film as the lone woman among some strong actors: Oscar Isaac, Max Minghella, Rupert Evans, and Michael Lonsdale.

This cast is directed by Amenebar as a seamless ensemble, although Isaac and Minghella are standouts. Twenty-nine-year-old Isaac ‘now filming ‘Robin Hood’ with Russell Crowe–now leaps as a contender in the category of solid younger leading men. Minghella, 24, is startlingly good as Hypatia’s doomed student, Davus. If you’re wondering, he’s the son of beloved late ‘English Patient’ director Anthony Minghella, who died suddenly last year at age 54. Max will have to endure so many people telling him how proud his dad would be, but it’s true.

Rachel Weisz said after the screening that she based her no-nonsense character on her great aunt, a famous endocrinologist who never married and was devoted to science and career. This makes her reading of Hypatia exact and unforgettable, a sure candidate for awards attention this fall.

But Hypatia was also a virgin, and so ‘Agora’ ‘ though it has three attractive young leads’remains a little cold at times and distinctly non-passionate. Amenabar’s handling of science and philosophy is impeccable, and I loved the various conversations among Pagans, Jews, and Christians about the universe. Watching them all struggle to understand who they were, and how the galaxy worked, was utterly fascinating.

But some in the audience were disappointed: no sex scenes, no obvious love story among the trio to pull the story through to the end. Can ‘Agora’ live like this to have a great release? I think so. It’s a movie about ideas, with a lot of realistic warring in a cool setting. The rest, for once, we’ll have to imagine.