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“Spider Man” on Broadway: “Still a $45 Million Mess”

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So what’s happened to the “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” musical on Broadway, now just a few months away from opening?

“It’s still a $45 million mess,” says an insider who confirmed that Jim Stern and a group of investors including Norton Herrick are supposedly coming in as angels to save the day.

Will this show be happening? “Yes, definitely,” says my source, who knows as much as anyone. “It’s too good not to.”

But in the meantime, “Spider Man” ‘ directed by Julie Taymor with music by U2 ‘ is sort of drifting.

“They had just enough money to get the theater ready. That’s what’s going on right now, preparations. But they don’t have the money to really start beyond that. They’re just waiting.”

Five months remain — short months for a big show — to get “Spider-Man” ready for action. Come on, money guys, the ball is in your…web! And Evan Rachel Wood (who will play Mary Jane) isn’t getting any younger!

Madonna: Made Over $100 Mil, Gave Only $500K to Charity

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Madonna is becoming something of a skinflint. She’s certainly not into using her enormous wealth to help those less fortunate.

After all that talk of her donating millions to Malawi, here’s the way it boils down thanks to a newly obtained tax filing for her Ray of Light Foundation.

According to Ray of Light’s 2008 Form 990, Ray of Light is now worth over $6 million in assets.

But Madonna gave away a total of $459,000 last year. Forbes, on the other hand, placed her annual take at $110 million and put her at number 3 on its celebrity earners list. Her last tour grossed $280 million.

Ray of Light has cut down to just a handful of charities, too. Madonna gave most of that money to Kabbalah or its associated causes. She sent $231,000 to Raising Malawi, which is a front for the Kabbalah Center; $150,000 to Kabbalah’s Spirituality for Kids; and $53,00o to the Gucci Foundation, which in turn was for Raising Malawi.

Her other two charitable contributions were to Jewish Big Brothers/Sisters of Los Angeles ($10,000) and $15,000 to the T. J. Martell Foundation for Cancer Research. Ray of Light actually paid more than that in “investment fees” ($37,000). That’s pretty sad.

What this also means is that in the year, 2008, that Madonna was special guest at AmFar’s Cinema Against AIDS in Cannes, the singer donated no money from Ray of Light to that charity or to any other conducting AIDS research.

She doesn’t even give money to MusiCares or the Grammy Foundation. I guess we can scratch her name as a contender for MusiCares’s Person of the Year.

Madonna fares very poorly by comparison with buddies like Rosie O’Donnell and Barbra Streisand, or even Oprah Winfrey. All of them are professional charity donors of the highest rank. And she’s way behind Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Paul Simon, Steven Spielberg, Sting and Trudie Styler’s Rainforest Foundation, and other charitable minded celebs.

Rock Hall DVDs: Mucho Springsteen, But No Dylan, Stones, Bowie, Zeppelin

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The new nine-DVD set of performances from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies is certainly a head scratcher ‘ just as much as the Hall of Fame itself, I guess.

For one thing, there are no appearances whatsoever by Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, The Eagles, The Police, David Bowie, Elton John, or Led Zeppelin. But there are ten ‘ yes, ten ‘ appearances by Bruce Springsteen. He’s sort of the Zelig of Jann Wenner’s invention.

Was there someone named Keith Richards in rock and roll? ‘Paul Simon? Art Garfunkel? Stevie Wonder? Michael Jackson? The Dells? Dion? Bobby “Blue” Bland? Not in this DVD set.

There’s also a real curiosity: Chubby Checker, doing “The Twist.” The Hall of Fame has so far refused to induct Chubby Checker, and he’s insisted on a statue of himself to be erected at the Cleveland Museum. The performance is from 1986, when the Hall of Fame was forming. Chubby probably thought he’d get in right after that. Sorry!

The DVDs are heavy on Springsteen, but also include three performances by The Pretenders, of all things. I love the Pretenders, and was at their induction, but three songs? Huh? At least there’s no Madonna, from her embarrassing induction. But there’s also no Sex Pistols, Talking Heads, or Ramones but Green Day instead doing “Blitzkrieg Bop.”

Eric Clapton checks in four times solo and three more times with Cream. There’s no Led Zeppelin, but Ann and Nancy Wilson ‘‘who are aka Heart ‘ play “Battle for Evermore.” Heart is not in the Hall of Fame, but they are now. So too are a bunch of others who happened to assist at performances including Sheryl Crow, Soul Asylum, Jonny Lang (from France), Joan Jett, and four ”four ‘‘appearances by non-member Eddie Vedder.

On the soul side, Aretha Franklin and Al Green are each included three times, and there’s a one whole disc devoted to classic R&B. But there’s no sign of Ray Charles (except for a Billy Joel tribute), Smokey Robinson, Gladys Knight, the Supremes, Sam Moore, or many other soul stars. On top of that, Isaac Hayes’s name is spelled wrong on the website. (So, too, is Blondie’s, which seems hard to do.)

The soul stars who are on the discs, however, do comprise Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Ben E. King, Ruth Brown, the Four Tops, Tina Turner, Percy Sledge, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, Jerry Butler, the Staples Singers, Booker T and the MGs, The O’Jays,’ Solomon Burke and Wilson Pickett. The latter clip, of course, includes Bruce Springsteen.

There’s also no appearance by Van Morrison. Maybe that’s the reason he decided not to play at the Rock Hall’s 25th anniversary show next week. Mick Jagger does turn up a couple of times, but none of the other Stones roll with him.

Right now, Time Life is offering the discs for $120. As with all things Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, including next week’s high priced shows, I have no idea where the money goes. To the artists? The museum? Into the ether? We’ll have to wait and see.

Anna Nicole’s Doc: Drug Menu Came in Her Fax

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0316 kapoor letter263x300 Anna Nicoles Doc: Drug Menu Came in Her FaxAnna Nicole Smith’s doctor, Khristine Eroshevich: the story of her giving Smith heavy prescriptions in inappropriate doses and combinations started in my former column in early March 2007.

Now as Eroshevich, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor and Howard K. Stern go through a preliminary hearing before a probable trial, here is the fax that started it all. Eroshevich sent it to Dr. Kapoor in the fall of 2006, from the Bahamas ‘ where she was always at Smith’s side ‘ to Los Angeles in September 2006 right after baby Daniellyn was born and Smith’s son Daniel died.

Eroshevich wanted a laundry list of medications sent to the Bahamas by courier for ‘M. Chase,’ the pseudonym Smith used to obtain drugs.

The list is scary and potentially very harmful. It included: four bottles of 2 mg Dilaudid; 2 milliliter bottles of Lorazepam Intensol (Ativan); two bottles of 350 mg Soma, a total of 180 tablets; one bottle each of 30 mg Dalmane and 400 mg Prexige, the latter a British drug; and one bottle of methadone, 300 5mg tablets. All of them are classified as different types of painkillers.

Eroshevich sent the fax on Sept. 15, 2006, a week after the baby was born and five days after Daniel’s death.

At first she sent it from the Bahamas to Sandeep Kapoor, the Los Angeles physician who treated Smith under the pseudonym ‘Michelle Chase.’

When Kapoor refused to fill the prescriptions, sources say, Eroshevich sent the request directly to Key Pharmacy in North Hollywood, Calif. It was also refused there.

The doctor wrote the fax in her own hand and added a note at the bottom: ‘You have my local number here. Please call if half of the amounts can be prepared, I’ll have someone take them to a courier to bring to me and he can [illegible] Fedex the rest, except for the Intensol, which has to be on ice.’

She signed it ‘Kris,’ even though it seemed from the fax that she didn’t actually know Kapoor.

One pharmacist, to whom I read this list two years ago, noted that all the dosages requested were much higher than usual.

‘That’s 12 times the amount of Dalmane. All together, these drugs potentially will kill you. I would have refused to fill the order.’

All of the drugs carry warnings for pregnant women and those who are breastfeeding especially not to take them.

The directions for Prexige read: ‘Tell your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby. Ask your doctor about the risks and benefits of taking Prexige in this case. It is not known if lumiracoxib, the active ingredient of Prexige, passes into the breast milk and could affect your baby.’

When I first revealed this fax, I spoke to Eroshevich. The psychiatrist acknowledged the existence of the fax, but declined to comment on it, citing “patient confidentiality.”

The Broward County Medical Examiner’s report found that upon her death, Smith was loaded with Noctec (chloral hydrate), as well as about a dozen painkillers and sedatives including Valium and the aforementioned Lorazepam.

The judge in this new hearing may or not know that Eroshevich was fired from her only other job in July 2006. At the Los Angeles County Employees Retirement Association (LACERA), Eroshevich’s professional issues cropped up right away. On July 7, 2006, the doctor was stripped of her job for failing to perform her duties properly.

From the Board of Retirement minutes:

“Recommendation to terminate the services of Board Panel Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich, M.D., Ph.D. (Memo dated July 7, 2006):

“Mr. [James] Castranova [the board’s legal counsel] gave a brief explanation of the recommendation to terminate Dr. Eroshevich’s services. It was noted that on two occasions, Dr. Eroshevich arranged for psychologists to conduct fact-to-face examination of LACERA members, which is a violation of the agreement between LACERA and Dr. Eroshevich, when only Board Certified Physicians are allowed to conduct these examinations.

“A motion was made by Mr. Russin, seconded by Mr. Chery, to approve the recommendation. The Legal Office, at the request of Mr. Russin, will review Dr. Eroshevich’s invoices to ensure that charges are proper. The Legal Office will report its findings and any recommendations to the Insurance, Benefits and Legislative Committee. The motion passed with Mr. Macias abstaining.”

James Castranova, whom I spoke with in 2007, confirmed that Dr. Eroshevich farmed out her duties to other shrinks in violation of her agreement.

In other words, she was sending unqualified doctors to interview members of LACERA when she was supposed to be doing the work herself.

LACERA spokesman Gregg Rademacher told me it’s the first time he can remember that his organization had a physician who farmed out their job to other professionals, only to be caught later.

Eroshevich is also being questioned in court about the propriety of her close relationship with Smith. In fact, they were so close, they were next-door neighbors.

Real estate records for both Anna Nicole and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich reveal that the patient and her doctor actually lived next door to each other in million-dollar homes in Studio City, Calif.

Public records indicate that Eroshevich and her husband, Wes Irwin, live at 3656 Avenida Del Sol in Studio City. Their house is listed as a four-bath, four-bedroom set-up purchased in 2002 for $925,000. Eroshevich bought the house with a mortgage of $693,750. In 2006, according to public records, the total value was $980,335. And yes, the house has a pool.

Oddly, right next door at 3646 Avenida Del Sol is a home owned by Smith and Howard K. Stern. The home was purchased in 2004 for $1,335,000, with a $934,500 mortgage from a private firm in Burbank, Calif., called J&R Lending.

The deal wasn’t finalized until almost a year later and the home was registered to a company called Hot Smoochie Lips, Inc. Stern and Smith were the only officers of that company. A woman who answered the phone at J&R said the loan had been subsequently sold, but refused to give any more information.

And still, it’s interesting to watch both syndicated shows, “The Insider” and “Entertainment Tonight” as they cover the drug hearing. The two shows, owned by CBS Paramount Television, paid Eroshevich as a source and on-air interviewee throughout their non-stop coverage of Smith’s death and funeral. The shows never once questioned her involvement or that of Howard K. Stern, whom they paid as well.

Michael Jackson Movie Screened for Liz Taylor–And She Loves It

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Michael Jackson’s documentary, “This Is It,” had a special, secret screening the other night at Sony. None other than Elizabeth Taylor got her own private viewing. And the word is, she loved it.

Taylor brought with her several family members. Also in the audience, acccording to sources, were Michael’s longtime insiders Miko Brando and Evvy Tavasci. Also there was famed international hairdresser Jose Eber. Michael and his kids spent last Easter with the Taylor clan and Eber. That’s who he considered family.

Taylor, who knows from having to go on when you’re sick, apparently told everyone involved that Jackson looked great, and that the film was “brilliant.” She did not express any concern over his appearance during rehearsals. The others in the screening room, an insider relayed to me, “were very pleased.”

“This Is It” is causing quite a rift in the various sections of Jackson’s camp. So far no one from his family has asked for a ticket or shown up to see the film at invitation from Sony. The only member of the family to be at all interested is Joe Jackson, who’s charging $3,000 a ticket on opening night for fans to meet him and see the film.

Liz Taylor’s imprimatur will certainly carry a lot of weight among Jackson’s rabid fans. It will be interesting to see who else Sony allows in before the big opening night in Los Angeles on October 27th.

Al Green for $3 a Minute

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“Who wouldn’t want to be married to Al Green?” writes a neophyte reviewer in Time Out New York this week.

Okay, I will tell you, dear, because you are probably very young: 35 years ago on this day, a married woman whom Al Green was seeing poured hot water and grits on him while the superstar singer was taking a bath at his Memphis estate. He peeled away burnt flesh and heard shots from a gun. Mary Woodson had shot herself dead. Oh yes, she did.

Al had a single out right then called “Let’s Get Married,” and Mary, according to him, got the idea that she wanted to be married to him. He had other ideas.’ It was 1974, and right after that Al had a religious epiphany and became Reverend Al. In a 1984 documentary by Robert Mugge, he said, “Sometimes I can’t believe it happened and I have to ask people if the woman was faking it.” No, it really happened.

Last night at BB King’s Blues Club in Times Square, the Reverend Al Green was back. He charged $180 and performed for one hour and five minutes with no encore. He is 63 years old and still has his voice, his amazing tenor falsetto, and a gorgeous sweet growl.

When he’s interested in the material, Al Green comes alive and is briefly engaged. In more recent songs like “Lay It Down” and “Everything’s Alright,” he seemed to be almost fully present. But at other times, he encourages the audience to sing most of the song. He throws long stem roses at them. He forgets the words to his hits. Last night, he crossed his arms and went into some kind of two-second trance. I thought maybe he was dozing.

To say Al Green gives a frustrating performance is an understatement. If only he took it all seriously as a musician instead of giving a “party” on stage. He runs through one verse apiece of several R&B hits from “My Girl” to “I Can’t Help Myself” to “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long.”’ Each is a suggestion of something that could be life changing. In his own “For the Good Times,” there is one minute of ‘a cappella. Is he afraid to sing a whole song? Whom does he think it will bore, the audience or the singer? It’s an ADD variety hour.

He included “L-O-V-E (Love)” as his opener, but there was “Take Me to the River.” “Tired of Being Alone” was converted into a throwaway. Too bad. The original Willie Mitchell co-written and produced Hi recordings stand the test of time as classics. Al is only 63, a little paunchier but seemingly able to lead a band including his three eldest daughters. (He has at least six children by my count.) If he could drop the roses, and the poses, and be serious for a minute, he might be able to leave an important legacy. He owes it to us, and he owes it to himself.

But there’s nothing wrong with a party. The audience didn’t seem to care; they mostly loved it. And when Al Green shines, especially with “I’m Still In Love With You,” you realize he’s still got it. And then, he’s gone.

Pick to click: Al Green and the immortal Billy Preston, “You’ve Got a Friend

Monty Python Loves “Mad Men”

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So what American TV show is Monty Python’s Michael Palin obsessed with? “Mad Men,” he told me last night at the jam packed premiere of the Monty Python 40th anniversary documentary, “Almost the Truth: (Lawyers Cut).”

The premiere was sponsored by IFC and BAFTA; I can’t remember seeing the Ziegfeld Theater so completely booked up. There literally was not a seat to be had for the doc and the Q&A afterward with Palin, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Carol Cleveland. A few celebs/fans showed up to pay their respects including Trudie Styler with her son Jake Sumner, Jeremy Piven, music manager and producer Peter Asher and his bw Wendy, Steve Coogan and a couple of the guys from “Mad Men.”

“Everyone’s looking for us,” Palin said at the afterparty across the street at the Parker Meridien. “But I can’t get over seeing the guys from ‘Mad Men.’ ” Palin’s seeing the second season in the U.K. now, so I didn’t ruin it for him with spoilers!

“Almost the Truth” was made by Terry Jones’s son, Bill, and it runs a total of six hours. We saw a two-hour edit last night, and it was incredibly funny and very absorbing. “At least, I didn’t fall asleep during it,” cracked Gilliam.

None of the Pythons have seen all six hours except Jones, but he’s the filmmaker’s dad.

“I don’t know if I sit through six hours of me and my friends,” said Palin. But he will, when he gets home.

Palin and Jones wrote the famous “Spanish Inquisition” sketch, and they each told that neither of them expected it to become a catch phrase. “When we shot it, I was more concerned about the hat I was wearing,” Palin told me. “I didn’t think anyone would be able to see me.”

Jones added: “I knew it was a hit from the beginning. It wasn’t obvious, and that’s what made it so good.”

The documentary covers all four decades, from the troupe’s early years, through the life and death of their friend and colleague Graham Chapman, up through Idle’s creation of “Spamalot.” Idle says he’s off to see the Spanish version of the hit musical soon. He doesn’t know a word of Spanish, however, not even how to say, “Always look on the bright side of life.”

But that’s what the Pythons do, four decades after their TV show hit it big in the U.K. I remember in 1971 when “Monty Python” overcame our junior high school lives: Every kid was doing Silly Walks and repeating the Dead Parrot sketch. “Monty Python” was a secret language.

Of course, there was no real person named Monty Python. Terry Jones said in the Q&A, “I always thought we were missing someone, we were waiting for someone. Maybe Mr. Python.” In short, the name was arrived at — after many failed tries — to suggest a jaunty snake.

The Pythons have a lot more ahead of them. They’re appearing in Eric Idle’s oratario, “Not the Messiah,” on October 23rd at Royal Albert Hall. It’s being billed as “Like Handel, only funnier.”

Here’s the Dead Parrot sketch, thanks to YouTube.

“Bereft of life, it rests in peace.”

This IS It: Joe Jackson’s Detailed Plans for Michael’s Premiere

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Joe Jackson cannot stop himself. Here’s the VIP Package details for his $3,000 ticket event for the two nights leading up to the opening of his dead son’s documentary. As a Jackson insider said to me last night: “I’d spend $3,000 to NOT spend time with him.” Indeed.

These details are reprinted from Jackson’s email invite:

Platinum VIP PACKAGE: $3,000.00

Monday, October 26, 2009
Palms Casino Resort * Brenden Theatres at the Palms
3:00 p.m. ‘ Hotel Check-in (complimentary hotel room with Platinum VIP package) Single/Double: One deluxe room for two nights”” **For upgrades and additional room nights inquire with hotel registration
5:30 p.m. ‘ Pick up Registration Packet * Simon’s Restaurant * Palms Place * Palms Casino and Resort.
Copy of ‘Joseph Jackson: Man in the Mirror, Father of the First Family of Music’ Las Vegas Hollywood Magazine, Special Commemorative Edition. Collectible laminated Platinum VIP credential & wristband.
1/8th of a page in this Special Commemorative Edition of the Las Vegas Hollywood Magazine
6:00 p.m. ‘ Private Dinner with Mr. Joseph Jackson at Simon’s Restaurant Presented by Celebrity Chef ‘Kerry Simon’ at Palms Place * Palms Casino & Resort including photo opportunity and autograph signing

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Brenden Theatres at the Palms
6:30 p.m. ‘ ‘Joseph Jackson & Family” Brenden Celebrity Star Presentation Seating, Reserved Seating (show credential & wristband) Brenden Theatres Lobby
7:30 p.m. ‘ ‘Joseph Jackson & Family’ Brenden Celebrity Star Presentation
8:00 p.m. ‘ ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It’ Film Seating, Reserved Seating (movie ticket included/show credential) Complimentary popcorn & soda (concession coupon included)
8:55 p.m.’ Mr. Joseph Jackson Thanks the viewers and the fans for watching his Son’s movie with him in this Special VIP Brenden’s movie theater.
9:00 p.m. ‘ ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It ‘ Film Showing
10:30 p.m. ‘ Opening Night Party * MOON Nightclub at Palms Casino Resort, Featuring the music of
Michael Jackson, Champagne Toast, Platinum VIP Area Access (show credential & wristband)
*Times subject to change

PLATINUM VIP PACKAGE: $3,000.00, payment payable to Las Vegas Hollywood or Seven & Company
The Platinum VIP Certificate is -non-transferable.’ Present certificate and valid ID at registration to receive credential and event tickets. This page is only a presentation.’ The Actual Platinum VIP Certificate must include the Full Name of The Purchaser, it will be numbered and’ signed by’ representative of’ the Brenden Theatres and Las Vegas Hollywood.’ It will be sent after payments fully received.’ (Due to this high profile event security will be Very Strict. You must have your Platinum VIP Credentials at all times, no Exceptions). For further inquiries please email:
thisisit@lvhmagazine.com

MICHAEL JACKSON’S ‘THIS IS IT’
VIP PACKAGE: $300.00*

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Palms Casino Resort * Brenden Theatres at the Palm
4:00 p.m. ”’ Check-in (location to be determined).’ Pick up collectible laminate VIP Credential.’ Copy of ‘Joseph Jackson: Man in the Mirror, Father of the First Family of Music’ Las Vegas Hollywood Magazine, Special Commemorative Edition.
7:30 p.m. ‘ ‘Joseph Jackson & Family” Brenden Celebrity Star Presentation
8:00 p.m. ‘ ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It’ Film Seating. General VIP Seating (movie ticket included/show credential) Complimentary popcorn & soda (concession coupon included)
8:55 p.m.’ Mr. Joseph Jackson Thanks the viewers and the fans for watching his Son’s movie with him in this Special VIP Brenden’s movie theater.
9:00 p.m. ‘ ‘Michael Jackson’s This Is It’ Film Showing
10:30 p.m. ‘ Opening Night Party * MOON Nightclub at Palms Casino Resort, Featuring the music of Michael Jackson, Complimentary admission (show VIP Credential)
*Times subject to change

VIP PACKAGE: $300.00* payment payable to Las Vegas Hollywood or Seven & Company
The VIP Certificate is non-transferable, valid for one person. Present certificate and valid ID at Will Call to receive credential, Movie ticket, copy of Commemorative Magazine, concession coupon. Credential valid for admission to Opening Night Party, at MOON Nightclub. This page is only a presentation.’ The Actual VIP Certificate must include the Full Name of the Purchaser, it will be numbered and signed by’ representative of’ the Brenden Theaters and Las Vegas Hollywood.’ It will be sent after payments fully received.’ (Due To this high Profile Event Security will be Very Strict You must have your VIP Credentials with a Valid ID at all times, no Exceptions) For all inquires please e-mail to thisisit@lvhmagazine.com

(*Asterik added by us: not sure if the $300 is a misprint)

Michael Jackson’s Dad Sells Out His Son In Six-Part Video

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Fans of Michael Jackson should see this video interview with Joe Jackson. In addition to Joe exploiting Michael on the premiere of “This Is It,” there’s also a question of permission for using “Man in the Mirror” in the background.

Good work!

Don’t miss all six parts of the interview Joe gives Jerry Olivarez of Brenden Theatres as they try to scrub clean Joe’s much chronicled terrible relationship with Michael. As the saying goes, “You can’t beat it with a stick.”

Was Joe paid for all this, too? Since this is a man who promoted a record label four days after Michael died, and brought a Jackson imitator to the BET Awards, all I can say is: you decide.

Eli Wallach, Age 93, Leaves Premiere of Latest Film Before It Starts

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The great actor Eli Wallach did what a lot of people wanted to last night at the premiere of “New York, I Love You.” After waiting 45 minutes for the film to start, he got up and left. He took his wife, the equally great Anne Jackson, their actor daughter Roberta, and an aide, and literally scooted up the aisle (with a cane, no less) and out the door.

“I’m leaving!” he declared. Well, when you’re 93, time is precious. And the wait for “New York, I Love You” to begin was extraordinary.

The film, comprising several directors’ short stories of New York life criss crossing, was shown more than a year ago at the Toronto Film Festival. It’s mostly the same as it was then. The irony is that Wallach’s segment, with Cloris Leachman, is the most moving and affecting of them all. Joshua Marston wrote and directed the vignette, which got the most applause in the Ziegfeld last night.

Another favorite was the very funny story directed by Brett Ratner and scripted by Jeff Nathanson, starring James Caan, Anton Yelchin, and Olivia Thirlby. What starts out as a sweet romantic piece has a good twist.

There are some other famous directors and lots of famous actors in this project, from Julie Christie and Natalie Portman to John Hurt, Irfan Khan, Ethan Hawke, Robin Wright Penn, Chris Cooper, Shia LaBeouf, Drea DeMatteo, Bradley Cooper. Some work, others don’t. It’s a mixed bag with many pleasures and a few bewilderments.

The biggest frustration about “New York, I Love You” is that it should be called “Manhattan, I Love You.” There is little reference to the four other boroughs. It’s also mosty white, with a little Asian and Indian flavor. In this New York, black people don’t exist. Neither does the middle class. There are roughly 25 name actors in the movie, and not one of them is African American ‘ in a movie about New York City. Hello? Nineteen listed producers, and not one of them noticed this. It says a lot about the movie business.

Anyway, there’s some nice work by Drea DeMatteo, and I loved an older Turkish actor named Ugur Yucel, who plays a painter in Soho. “New York, I Love You” is the kind of film that will play on cable forever, so you’ll have time to figure out who everyone is, eventually.

As for Eli Wallach, god bless him, he was probably snug as a bug in a rug by the time the credits played.