Sunday, September 22, 2024
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Good News! I’ve Inherited $13 Billion, I Just Got the News from an Unsolicited Letter

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My ship has come in! I’ve inherited $13 billion from an unknown relative. This is according to an email I’ve received from James Walcott. I can’t tell you how excited I am. Read this letter! I will have to split the money with Mr. Walcott, but that’s ok! The internet is a wonderful place full of glorious surprises, isn’t it? The first thing I’m going to do when I get the money– seven billion dollars!!!– is build a zoo with talking animals. Then I’m going to become an independent film producer. So much to do! So little time!

Here’s the missive from Mr. Walcott, my new best friend:

Dear Mr. Roger Friedman,

Thanks so much for your mail.

I so much appreciate your response and I want you to understand that I might not be sure that you are related to my late client Robert Friedman. It is also possible that you may not even know him. But the main reason why I contacted you is based on the fact that you share the same last name with him which will be of great importance to us in achieving success in this transaction. I will provide the bank with every necessary information about my late client and legal documents that will be used to prove your kinship with my late client to enable them release the fund to you.

I guarantee you that this transaction will be executed on legitimate ground without any breach of law. So, I do not want you to entertain any atom of fear in this transaction OK? All that I require from you is that you follow my advise carefully and co-operate with me to enable us achieve success in this transaction. I assure you that we will share this fund 50/50 as soon as it is released to you. I will personally come over to your country as soon as this fund is released to you and we will share the fund on the agreed ratio without problems.

I want you to give me your word of Honor that you are going to keep this transaction confidential and co-operate with me without greediness so that we can get started immediately. I also want you to note that I do not want you to delay this transaction at all. I want you to be checking your mail regularly to know when I have written to you because I will not delay in responding to you.

Meanwhile, I am not supposed to tell you this because it is a kind of personal problem but for you to know how serious and true this is and also due to your interest and trust we both need in this transaction I am forced to let you know. My wife is late, she died in 2015 due to heart attack and now my little only son has a kidney infection and needs a kidney transplant. Our medical doctor referred us to India but I cannot afford it and that is why I have embarked on this project to enable me raise enough money for his treatment. I have spent all my life savings trying to give him life until the transplant have been done. So please, I want you to give me your word of Honor that you are not going to make this my last hope vanish by jeopardizing this transaction.

I have also attached my picture, my son picture and a copy of my attorney license/certificate and my passport in this mail for your clarification, also for establishment of trust between us.

As soon as I receive your word of Honor, we will get the ball rolling immediately. Meanwhile, if you have any questions regarding to my information, do not hesitate to ask me as I will always be ready to give you all the necessary information and guidelines you need to avoid jeopardy. Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Thanks so much for your understanding and co-operation in advance.

You can call me with this phone number

God bless you and your family.

Best Regards,
Hon. James Walcott,esq.

Sharon Osbourne Has Always Been a Formidable Rock Manager, She Won’t Let Concert Promoters Tell Her What to Do

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Sharon Osbourne is probably known to most as a TV personality. But in the real world, she is a formidable, savvy rock manager who guided her husband, Ozzy Osbourne, and Black Sabbath, to incredible fame and wealth. She’s the power, really.

Sharon objected to being told which venues Ozzy had to play in– that’s the rock promoter game, if you didn’t know, and always has been. The competing companies– Live Nation, AEG, and Azoff/MSG– prevent artists from playing in competitor’s stadiums, arenas, and theaters.

Sharon wanted Ozzy to play London’s O2 Arena, which is run by AEG. She also wanted Ozzy not to play AEG’s Staples Center in Los Angeles, but Azoff/MSG’s Forum. That caused a commotion in the promoter universe. Most managers just go with the flow, but not Sharon. She is really great. She won’t let anyone tell her what to do. Read her statement below. The “Mr. Anshultz” she refers to Philip Anschutz, the A in AEG, a very nice man who I once watched the Oscars with when he owned the Kodak Theater. I doubt he knows what’s going on here. But kudos to Sharon!

Sharon Osbourne Statement re AEG Lawsuit

We know Mr. Anshultz (aka “Daddy Big Bucks”) is living in his billionaire bubble, but the fact is that Ozzy sued AEG for the right to perform at the O2 in London. We won the case and Ozzy’s show at the O2 went on sale on September 5 for a show next year (February 11, 2019)–so in my world that means we won the case. Ozzy is playing the O2 without having to play the Staples Center, which is all that mattered to us. From the start of this dialogue in February, this has been a battle about respect for the artists and their personal preferences. It wasn’t then and isn’t now a battle between promoters, which is how this is being portrayed by the recent statement from AEG claiming this as a “victory.”

To say that this “suit was instigated by Azoff and paid for by MSG and Live Nation,” and that “it was hatched on the back of an artist who we believe had no idea what he was biting off,” is untrue and disrespectful to Ozzy, myself and the entire team working on this tour. Whatever differences you have with Irving Azoff, don’t presume you know who instigated the lawsuit or you know anything about Ozzy Osbourne, because you obviously don’t know anything about Ozzy’s history or mine. So stop with your hubbildy, bubbuldy BULLSHIT and your little pissing contest with Live Nation and MSG.

Regarding the allegations in the AEG statement that this “suit was a transparent public relations ploy,” if that was indeed the case, why then did AEG rush out a statement of victory? While we, throughout this process, until now have only made one statement around the initial filing.

Ozzy’s preference was to perform at The Forum, a venue that has been a part of his music history for more than 46 years. From the start, this was not a battle solely for Ozzy, as much as one for other artists who were being forced to abide by these rules and regulations. Let’s not all forget why you’re here…the artists.

The only thing remotely interesting in your statement was your pitiful attempt at humor with your quote that Ozzy “had no idea what he was biting off.” If you’re interested, Ozzy and I have got something nice for you bite on…our assholes…see ya loser!

Watch the UN General Assembly Laugh at Donald Trump’s Assertion of Accomplishing “Almost More than Any Other Administration”

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It’s all about him.

Donald Trump addressed the UN General Assembly this morning. They laughed AT him when he opened with the assertion that his administration had accomplished “almost more than any other previous adminstration.”

Yes, he’s divided the world, divided families, treated humans like dirt, been disrespectful to his own office, his wife, mocked civility in any form.

Good work!

 

Don’t Cry for Him: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber Gets the Royal Treatment from American Theater Wing

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This is most certainly Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s year. He is, among many accolades, a newly minted EGOT, joining a rarified few like Rita Moreno who have achieved an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony. Not a surprise really when you think that at any given moment, a handful of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals grace Broadway. His music, sometimes treacly, and sentimental, always bold and operatic is pervasive.

Last night, The American Theater Wing honored him at a swank dinner at Cipriani 42nd Street, with performances of his signature songs by Sierra Boggess, Brandon Victor Dixon, Katrina Lenk, Norm Lewis, and Alex Newell, backed by his School of Rock alums, Evie Dolan, Ethan Khusidman, Raghav Mehrotra, and Brandon Niederauer. The great songs — from Phantom of the Opera’s “Think of Me,” to Sunset Boulevard’s “As If We Never Said Goodbye” —  took center stage, but Webber’s commitment to education became the focus of his grand career.

Imogen Lloyd Webber introduced her father, clearly proud of his accomplishments, and support of education. Proclaiming his inspiration from Rodgers & Hammerstein, Webber also quipped, “the combined ages of the School of Rock musicians is one third of mine.” This was the evening’s only moment of humor. Noting that the arts are often sidelined in schools, Webber got serious in his assertion of the empowering, vital role of music: “We should be talking about how to keep arts in schools.”

As guests including Laura Osnes and many others filed out of the cavernous space, I spoke to Marcus Gladney, a college sophomore from Huntsville, Alabama, a 2017 University Scholarship to Carnegie Mellon. Yes, Ma’am, he said multiple times, grateful that he is now rehearsing to perform in the Broadway company of Choir Boy. Mega producer Jordan Roth said he was busy working on his new web series, “The Birds and the B. S.,” the latest episode featuring Mandy Patinkin, and this year’s Tony winner Katrina Lenk (for “The Band’s Visit), splendid in a red gown, who had just performed “Tell Me on a Sunday,” said she was honored and very nervous, “just glad I got through it!”

Broadway: Shonda Rhimes Gives Her Name to Kerry Washington’s “American Son,” Cameron Crowe’s “Almost Famous” Almost a Musical

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Broadway is bursting with news this morning.

First of all, Cameron Crowe‘s Oscar nominated 2000 movie “Almost Famous” is being turned into a musical. Crowe is writing the book, Tom Kitt is writing the songs with Crowe. They’ll have to use some existing songs, too, like Elton John‘s “Tiny Dancer” for the bus sing along. Jeremy Herrin, from the UK, is set to be the director. From his credits, I can’t figure out why. Note to Cameron: there has to be a song called “Rock Stars Have Kidnapped My Son” sung by the mother.

Bigger news: Kerry Washington has called in the big guns to Executive Produce her play, “American Sons.” Shonda Rhimes, who produced Kerry’s hit TV show, “Scandal,” has added her name over the title on the marquee. So have Jada Pinkett Smith, Gabrielle Union-Wade, Dwyane Wade, Steve Stoute and Nnamdi Asomugha.

The great Kenny Leon directs “American Son” a new play by Christopher Demos-Brown opening November 4th. Stephen Pasquale plays Washington’s estranged husband. The couple waits in a Miami police station for news of their teen son, who’s been pulled over by police. Notices from the initial production were strong, with reviewers citing the last 30 minutes of the 90 minute drama. Sounds like it’s a two acter-with no intermission. Let’s cross our fingers. We need new plays desperately!

Patti Smith Finishes Three Night Stand in NYC for Audible with Extraordinary Performance

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Patti Smith is nearing 72 years on this planet and I only mention that because it seems impossible. Her performance last night at the Minetta Lane Theater– her third in a row, produced by Audible.com– was absolutely extraordinary. If you didn’t know her history– and you may not–you’d think she was at least twenty years younger.

But, you know, I’m a decade younger, and I saw Patti in her early days playing in the East Village, CBGB’s, the Ritz etc, when she was dubbed the Queen of Punk Rock. But she was really a poet and so much more than that.

If rock writers in the mid 70s hadn’t been looking for man who’d be “the next Dylan” (anyone remember what that did to poor Steve Forbert?) they would have realized Patti Smith was the next Dylan. She should have all his accolades, a Pulitzer, a Kennedy Center Honor. Does she even have a Grammy? (No.)

So Clive Davis saw the Dylan in her back in 1974, and signed her to Arista Records. All the years he made money on Barry Manilow and Air Supply (this is long before Whitney) Clive knew he had an artist for the ages. The first albums– “Horses” and “Ethiopia”– were artistic landmarks. Then he put her together with Bruce Springsteen for “Because the Night,” and her career soared commercially.

Patti based The Audible show on excerpts from her insanely great bestselling memoir, “Just Kids.” This is the story of her friendship with artist Robert Mapplethorpe and her love affair and marriage with the late Fred “Sonic” Smith (they were each named Smith) of the MC5. Mapplethorpe died of AIDS. Smith died in 1994 of heart failure. He was just 46.

The Smiths had two kids, now grown, Jackson and Jessie, who played with her last night, as well as the gifted Tony Shanahan. (I don’t know where her other longtime collaborator, Lenny Kaye, was last night.)

Patti interspersed her songs with readings from “Just Kids,” reminiscing about those salad days when she and Mapplethorpe had no money and just wanted to be successful and recognized. And then came the songs: “Pissing in a River” from her second album, “Dancing Barefoot,” “Because the Night,” “People Have the Power,” “Peaceable Kingdom,” “Frederick” (still a heartbreaker), and a cover of U2’s newish “Love is All We Have Left” that she should release as a single.

The two hour show (it was supposed to be 90 minutes) was one of those moments no one who was there will ever forget. Smith tells off the cuff stories as if they’re not scripted, and then cutely actually relates memories that pop into her head. As the audience was leaving the theater she stopped everyone to tell an anecdote about the 1974 Golden Earring hit “Radar Love” which was ‘accidentally’ playing over the PA system with such genuine charm that she could turn this show into an off Broadway version of Bruce Springsteen’s show without any trouble.

Audible.com is on a roll. When they offer this Patti Smith show in the near future, download their app ASAP!

The Beatles Will Release “Super Deluxe” 50th Anniversary White Album on November 9th

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The 50th anniversary of The White Album is upon us.

The Beatles are releasing a Super Deluxe version on November 9th, two weeks ahead of the album’s actual 50th anniversary. This version will include a remixed version of the original album on 2 CDs, plus a disc of what are known as the “Esher Demos,” three more CDs that include 50 additional recordings, most previously unreleased, from ‘White Album’ studio sessions; all newly mixed from the four-track and eight-track session tapes, sequenced in order of their recording start dates.

There are several versions, starting at $24.98 and then going up depending on merchandise included.

Whew– and there’s more! There’s also:
– 2018 album mix in high resolution PCM stereo
– 2018 DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 album mix
– 2018 Dolby True HD 5.1 album mix
– 2018 direct transfer of the album’s original mono mix

Here’s the tracklist:
CD 1
1. Back In The U.S.S.R.
2. Dear Prudence
3. Glass Onion
4. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
5. Wild Honey Pie
6. The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill
7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
8. Happiness Is A Warm Gun
9. Martha My Dear
10. I’m So Tired
11. Blackbird
12. Piggies
13. Rocky Racoon
14. Don’t Pass Me By
15. Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
16. I Will
17. Julia

CD 2
1. Birthday
2. Yer Blues
3. Mother Nature’s Son
4. Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
5. Sexy Sadie
6. Helter Skelter
7. Long, Long, Long
8. Revolution 1
9. Honey Pie
10. Savoy Truffle
11. Cry Baby Cry
12. Revolution 9
13. Good Night

CD 3
1. Back In The U.S.S.R. (Esher Demo)
2. Dear Prudence (Esher Demo)
3. Glass Onion (Esher Demo)
4. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (Esher Demo)
5. The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill (Esher Demo)
6. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Esher Demo)
7. Happiness Is A Warm Gun (Esher Demo)
8. I’m So Tired (Esher Demo)
9. Blackbird (Esher Demo)
10. Piggies (Esher Demo)
11. Rocky Raccoon (Esher Demo)
12. Julia (Esher Demo)
13. Yer Blues (Esher Demo)
14. Mother Nature’s Son (Esher Demo)
15. Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey (Esher Demo)
16. Sexy Sadie (Esher Demo)
17. Revolution (Esher Demo)
18. Honey Pie (Esher Demo)
19. Cry Baby Cry (Esher Demo)
20. Sour Milk Sea (Esher Demo)
21. Junk (Esher Demo)
22. Child Of Nature (Esher Demo)
23. Circles (Esher Demo)
24. Mean Mr Mustard (Esher Demo)
25. Polythene Pam (Esher Demo)
26. Not Guilty (Esher Demo)
27. What’s The New Mary Jane (Esher Demo)

CD 4 – Sessions
1. Revolution 1 (Take 18)
2. A Beginning (Take 4)/Don’t Pass Me By (Take 7)
3. Blackbird (Take 28)
4. Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey (Unnumbered Rehearsal)
5. Good Night (Unnumbered Rehearsal)
6. Good Night (Take 10 With A Guitar Part From Take 7)
7. Good Night (Take 22)
8. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (Take 3)
9. Revolution (Unnumbered Rehearsal)
10. Revolution (Take 14 Instrumental Backing Track)
11. Cry Baby Cry (Unnumbered Rehearsal)
12. Helter Skelter (First Version Take 2)

CD 5 – Sessions
1. Sexy Sadie (Take 3)
2. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Acoustic Version Take 2)
3. Hey Jude (Take 1)
4. St Louis Blues (Studio Jam)
5. Not Guilty (Take 102)
6. Mother Nature’s Son (Take 15)
7. Yer Blues (Take 5 With Guide Vocal)
8. What’s The New Mary Jane (Take 1)
9. Rocky Raccoon (Take 8)
10. Back In The U.S.S.R. (Take 5 Instrumental Backing Track)
11. Dear Prudence (Vocal, Guitar & Drums)
12. Let It Be (Unnumbered Rehearsal)
13. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Third Version Take 27)
14. (You’re So Square) Baby I Don’t Care (Studio Jam)
15. Helter Skelter (Second Version Take 17)
16. Glass Onion (Take 10)

CD 6 – Sessions
1. I Will (Take 13)
2. Blue Moon (Studio Jam)
3. I Will (Take 29)
4. Step Inside Love (Studio Jam)
5. Los Paranoias (Studio Jam)
6. Can You Take Me Back (Take 1)
7. Birthday (Take 2 Instrumental Backing Track)
8. Piggies (Take 12 Instrumental Backing Track)
9. Happiness Is A Warm Gun (Take 19)
10. Honey Pie (Instrumental Backing Track)
11. Savoy Truffle (Instrumental Backing Track)
12. Martha My Dear (Without Brass And Strings)
13. Long Long Long (Take 44)
14. I’m So Tired (Take 7)
15. I’m So Tired (Take 14)
16. The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill (Take 2)
17. Why Don’t We Do It In The Road? (Take 5)
18. Julia (Two Rehearsals)
19. The Inner Light (Take 6 Instrumental Backing Track)
20. Lady Madonna (Take 2 Piano & Drums)
21. Lady Madonna (Backing Vocals Take 3)
22. Across The Universe (Take 6)

Stormy Daniels Lawyer Avenatti Claims He Has Evidence of Kavanaugh, Friends Participation in “Gang Rape”

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Stormy Daniels’s barnstorming lawyer, Michael Avenatti, has sent a message to Mike Davis, Chief Counsel for Nominations for U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary and posted it to Twitter. Avenatti indicates he has a client or clients who know of potential Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and his pal Mike Judge of participating in a gang rape in the early 80s. This comes on top of a new New Yorker piece containing accusations of exposure by a second woman, Deborah Ramirez, following the accusations against Kavanaugh and Judge by Professor Christine Blasey Ford.

Will Kavanaugh make it to Thursday’s hearing? You know there will more to come, and fast.

Broadway: A West Coaster Charmed by “Come from Away,” “The Band’s Visit,” “Carousel”

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With the lovely “Carousel” recently closing, two supremely superb musicals are playing on Broadway that simply cannot be missed. “Come From Away,” and “The Band’s Visit.”  Multiple Tony Award winners each, these two unique and phenomenal shows are true powerhouse theatrical experiences. I saw both on a recent trip to NYC and both were glorious and affecting in different ways.  

“Come From Away,” set in the week following the Sept 11th attack when 7,000 strangers landed in the small town of Gander Newfoundland, tells a poignant, funny and meaningful story that has touched a patriotic nerve; the influx of tourists the night I saw it were enraptured. The show is already slated to tour and is landing at the noted Ahmanson in LA on November 28th. “Come From Away,” also has universal appeal, our friend Baz Bamigboye of the Daily Mail recently scooped that the show is coming to the UK in February 2019.  

Next on to sublime perfection of  “The Band’s Visit.”  The story is about 10 Egyptian musicians who land in a desolate Israeli town by mistake; the play is based on the movie of the same name.  This show is simply perfection.  Tony Shalhoub as the band leader Tewfiq won the Tony, but I saw the wonderful Israeli actor Sasson Gabay who played the role in the film.  The goddess Katrina Lenk, playing Dina the Israeli Café owner,  deservedly won for Best Leading Actress.  Lenk  gives one of the most memorable turns ever seen on a stage.   Her singing the affecting “Omar Sharif” is a performance for the ages.  Oozing with humor, charm and humanity, “The Band’s Visit,” is set to start its tour in June 2019. 

So a fond farewell to “Carousel,” and thank the theatrical Gods that “Come From Away,” and “The Bands Visit” will be around for eons to come.

 

Before Regina King Won Her Emmy She Ordered 100 Uniquely Empowering Backpacks for School Kids as Gifts

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The great actress Regina King is one of our heroes. Before she won her Emmy Award last Sunday night for “Seven Seconds,” a limited series on Netflix, she’d been nominated she’d been nominated three years in a row for playing three different characters on “American Crime.” A TV and movie vet, King should be in the Oscar mix now, along with Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer.

On the Friday before the Emmys we ran into Regina at the rooftop GBK gift suite at L’Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills organized by Gavin Keilly. What caught her eye? The same thing that caught ours: unique school backpacks designed by Casey Kelly and her Jacksonville, Florida company, Blended Designs. Kelly made them after her 7 year old son said he wanted to see pictures of African American kids like himself on school products. Kelly whipped a line of colorful backpacks with the drawings of girls and boys her son’s age, teams of African American kids, emblazoned with the exclamation “I can do anything!”

Regina spotted them and immediately fell in love with Casey Kelly. “I’m ordering 100,” she said, after deliberating with her business partner. “We’re going to give them away.” At $45 the price point is right. Also, Kelly’s features the year 1954 on everything– it’s the year of Brown vs. the Board of Education, when integration was ordered into public schools. Her more adult backpacks include one covered in newspaper clips of that momentous decision.

Everyone who sees the product line wants more than one backpack. If Oprah saw them, she’d try to buy the company. Why haven’t they been on “Shark Tank”? Casey’s proud husband, Harvey, dressed in a suit and meeting everyone, said, “We’re not ready, they want you to already be a success. We’re getting there.”

Hey Scholastic, or any other fine education company– there’s a fortune to be made here. — ROGER FRIEDMAN

from Leah Sydney: Other products at GBK were pretty tantalizing:  Pilot Pen proved to be a hugely popular spot with their stylish pens.  G2 is the # 1 selling gel ink brand in America, and for good reason. They have fifteen fun colors and are truly easy to write with.  Other buzzy products included Athenaromas, candle therapy for your pet, B opulent, Ezequils Healing Tools, GWEN skincare products, Nelsons Pampered Tails for your pooch.

For the kids:  Razorturbo jets step electric power heel wheel and skateboards. Very popular– Burke Williams, always a perennial favorite and must go for Hollywood VIPs and everyone.  Even otherworldly Tyler Henry, the widely popular medium on E!, loved his chair massage and proclaimed loudly, “I go to Burke Williams all the time!”  Tyler also bonded with Ike Shehandeh, of the popular “Ike’s Love and Sandwiches.”   

Six different vacations valued over $50,000, including Caribbean Living/Swanky Resorts Moon Palace in Jamaica and Amresorts vacations as well as Sailrock Resort and La Corte Dell Astore in Italy no less. Malibu Wine Safari’s and Santa Inez wine were a welcome appearance.  Brian Appiano’s Rib Line Restaurants and Catering of course was a must stop for his delicious fare. Guests sipped Buoncristiani WineCo. More highlights were WEN Hair Care’s fall fresh apple cleansing conditioner, and Bella Spirit lip scrub, WEN  had a hair styling station which everyone stopped at.  To see this all  clearly, Zenni had trendy sunglasses and Optical computer glasses. They are the largest retailer of prescription eyewear in the country.  

Also at this trendy VIP suite were Anthony Anderson, Josh Malina, Tyler Henry, Mimi Kennedy, David Alan Grier, Paul Sorvino, Sinbad, Tituss Burgess, Naomi Grossman, Logan Browning, Richard Lewis, Suzanne Cryer, Shaun Toub, Jackie Tohn, Adina Porter, Marty Kroft, Matt Craven, Charlie Sarabia and Morgan Keilly, Bailey Bass, Janie Brewer and more. Educating Young Minds, GWEN and Stray Cat Alliance benefitted from the suite. 

Congrats GBK’s CEO Gavin Keilly and Pilot Pen for another A plus event!