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“2012″: Roland Emmerich Disaster Film Called “Ludicrous”

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I was not at the big all-media screening last night of Sony/Columbia’s “2012,” directed by Roland Emmerich. But my sources who saw it on both coasts had this to say, in unison: “It’s ludicrous.”

Surprise! A $200million-plus movie about the end of the world in which John Cusack is able to drive successfully through earthquakes and tsunamis ‘ what did we expect?

According to people who were at last night’s screenings, there is a lot of laughter where there shouldn’t be in “2012.” While the special effects and CGI look like lots of fun from the trailers and clips, you can tell that the story is inane. Now actual witnesses swear to it.

I won’t give away the ending, because, obviously, the characters have survived “the end of the world” so they can start anew ‘ and maybe work in a sequel. The word is that Danny Glover makes an unimpressive president, and the rest of the cast is unconvincing. An L.A. insider told me: “I can’t believe this movie will have ‘legs.’ Just one big weekend, and it’s over.”

Lucky for Sony, “This Is It” has turned out to be a good sized hit. That should soothe the pain of having to swallow millions if “2012″ turns out to be a bust. It does sound like a hoot, though, and I will definitely see it on Saturday afternoon. If ever a movie sounded like a good candidate for “talk back,” this is it, as they say.

Hey Jude: Hamlet Star “Finally Knows His Lines”

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Jude Law got a night off last night, and headed to the Waverly Inn for dinner with a couple of pals.

The star of “Hamlet” just missed the eatery’s owner, Graydon Carter, who’d been in earlier with his family. He also just missed the New York Post’s Cindy Adams and a gaggle of other media types who’d turned up for a cocktail engagement party for p.r. powerhouse Norah Lawlor and her fiancee, Jeffrey Bradford.

Jude dined with Simon Hammerstein, the flamboyant owner of New York’s hottest club, The Box, and a new theater district venture called Purgatario.

When Jude asked if I’d seen “Hamlet.” and I responded yes, he said, “Now that we’re here, I’ve finally learned my lines!” It was a joke.

He told me the play, which started in London, has now “recouped” its expenses. The actors are more relaxed. They still have performances through December 6th of “the Danish play.”

Law, who appears as Dr. Watson in “Sherlock Holmes” on screen next month, has no movies set up for shooitng once “Hamlet” takes his bow. “I’ll just take some time off and be with my kids.” he said.

Speaking of those kids ‘ they’ve seen Dad in “Hamlet” a couple of times. “My youngest son can quote the play,” said a proud Jude.

Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler “In Terrible Trouble”

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Steve Tyler and Justin Murdock

Steven Tyler and Justin Murdock

Whether Steven Tyler has left Aerosmith on the verge of their 40th anniversary or not doesn’t matter. Sources close to Tyler say he is “in terrible trouble” and fear for his life. They are not kidding.

Pople who know the deal with Tyler say two things are contributing to his downfall: much loathed girlfriend Erin Brady and newish best pal, Justin Murdock, 35, heir to the Dole Pineapple fortune. Friends say Murdock, who’s been photographed going into nightclubs with Tyler, is helping the historically drug addicted singer live on the Pineapple Express by allowing him to party hard.

Murdock has recently come into his own tabloid wise, getting blamed for the break up of pop star Avril Lavigne’s marriage. Apparently he’s gotten into feuds, as well, with youngish actors like Jason Statham.

Murdock lives in Hawaii, which has been Tyler’s travel destination several times this year. It’s been a good place to get away, so to speak, friends say.

Brady, who is no shrinking violet but rather a student at Courtney Love College, made the press two years ago when she got into a catfight with another girl at a Florida nightclub. Hair pulling and eye scratching were involved.

But there is real concern, all puns aside, for Tyler’s health. Pictures this summer after he fell off a stage and broke his shoulder showed him looking perilously thin.

Insiders tell me that Tyler and Brady have several odd idiosyncratic practices, including “practicing how little they can eat in one day.” That would account, at least partially, for Tyler’s gaunt appearance.

I’ve made several calls to Tyler’s new manager, but none have been returned. I am told that Tyler’s situation these days is much like Michael Jackson’s was in the years before his death. “The people who work for him are afraid to do anything,” one source says.

Adding to the problems is that Tyler and Aerosmith each have separate management for the first time ever.

Meantime, Tyler is not keeping in good communication with his family. “I’m worried about Steven,” says a member of his circle. “He’s a different man than he used to be.” Tyler has four children: actress Liv Tyler (mom: Bebe Buell), model Mia Tyler (mom: the late Cyrinda Foxe, his first wife), and Chelsea and Taj (mom: Teresa Barrick, second wife, now divorced).

More elucidating: Tyler’s recent comments about leaving Aerosmith to do a solo album are nonsense, says a source. “It was always written into his contracts that he could do a solo album or project. He doesn’t need leave to do that. The real reason he’s gone AWOL is drugs.”

Indeed, Tyler has a long history with addiction dating back to the 1970s. The word now is that friends fear Tyler’s demons may have instigated that stage fall last summer. A domino effect set in after that as Tyler had to be treated for pain with prescription drugs ‘ his arch nemesis.

Tyler’s apparent appetite for self destruction is a sad revelation. A little over a year ago I saw him perform at Boston’s Symphony Hall for an all-star PBS show put together by Chris Botti. Tyler brought his elderly dad, and sang the Charlie Chaplin song, “Smile.” to him. It was a poignant moment and Tyler still seemed to be in good shape. But now I’m told that his problems had already begun then.

More to come.

Michael Jackson’s Father Grasps at Straws for Money

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First Joe Jackson wanted Michael’s will thrown out.

Then he wanted an allowance from the executors.

Now he’s saying that the will is fake, and that Michael’s executor, John Branca, is a bad guy who should be removed. Jackson is using Brian Oxman, the attorney who claimed in a lawsuit that’ Michael owed him $1.25 million, and who was fired by Thomas Mesereau from the defense team in Michael’s 2005 trial because he was sleeping in open court.

Jackson senior doesn’t seem to get it, but I do since I was there. Michael fired Branca as his attorney in February 2003 after the uproar over the “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary. Jackson took his business to a guy named David LeGrand, who was the choice of Michael’s business partner at the time, Marc Schaffel. It was more or less the beginning of the end for Michael, his slide into legal oblivion. After LeGrand, Jackson fell into the clutches of the Nation of Islam, followed by a series of lawyers and managers. It wasn’t until right before he died last June that he re-hired Branca in an effort to right his sinking ship.

To say Joe Jackson doesn’t know what he’s talking about is an understatement. He’s also accusing Branca of trying to harm Alvin Malnik, Jackson’s confidant and co-manager from 2001 through 2003, with the Justice Department. Malnik, who tried everything to keep Michael out of trouble until he was replaced by the Nation of Islam, actually worked with Branca to keep Michael afloat during that perilous time. Of course, Joe Jackson would actually know none of this because he had little to no contact with Michael and no knowledge of his business affairs.

The ironic part of all this is that there would be no estate to fight over if it weren’t for John Branca. I’m not suggesting that he’s a saint. But it was Branca who engineered the deal for the Beatles catalog in the first place. Then he parlayed Michael’s ownership of it into the creation of Sony/ATV Music Publishing and reaped Michael $90 million cash. With that money and the catalog as collateral, Branca kept Jackson afloat financially until 2003, when the second wave of child molestation charges came through.

Meanwhile, Joe Jackson has an uphill battle. Because even if he could prove the 2002 will is invalid, the will that preceded it was just the same, only it named Branca as the sole executor. Either way, Joe Jackson will not be able to get his greedy paws on Michael’s fortune. If this were “Lord of the Rings,” Jackson would be Gollum.

Hopefully, Judge Mitchell Beckloff will see through Joe Jackson’s latest grasping for Michael’s money, and bring this to an end.

Joe Jackson Dealt Legal Blow — By His Wife!

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Michael Jackson’s father, Joseph, has been dealt a legal blow — by his own wife!

Katherine Jackson’s attorney, Adam Streisand, has confirmed for me that his client no longer objects to the permanent appointment of their son’s executors. Katherine Jackson will now agree to John Branca and John McClain running Michael’s estate.

Since Katherine and Michael’s children are the only named heirs to Michael’s estate, it’s now expected the judge, Mitchell Beckloff, will make his final approvals.

This pretty much undercuts the crazy and lengthy objection Joseph Jackson has filed with the court to overturn Michael’s will and oust the executors. It’s poetic justice that Joseph Jackson has been undone by his own wife. Michael must be smiling in heaven.

Streisand, in an e-mail, did tell me that Katherine is not, however, objecting to her husband getting an allowance from the estate.

Aerosmith Divorce? Steven Tyler Says Not Leaving

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Overnight update: Steven Tyler showed up at Irving Plaza Tuesday night for Joe Perry’s show, announced he wasn’t leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on “Walk This Way.”’ So there.

From Tuesday afternoon: The war of words among Aerosmith’s members is going to get a little stranger.

This morning, Joe Perry declared that Steven Tyler, the band’s leader and songwriter, had quit. Perry suggested that the band would find a new lead singer and go on. This, after 39 years.

However, I am now told that Tyler is about to make an announcement saying he never quit, doesn’t intend to quit and wants to go back to work. It might be true. Or it might be like in any divorce. The husband is always advised not to exit the domicile.

In any case, sources say the division in the band has less to do with Tyler’s massive personal problems than with disagreements over the band’s management and future.

Tyler, now managed by UEG’s John Greenberg and Jason Flom, doesn’t want to work with the band’s present manager, Howard Kaufman. Perry and the other Aerosmith guys do. That’s a problem. The two sides also have different lawyers.

Tyler, it’s said, is also being advised by his own Yoko Ono, girlfriend Erin Brady. She’s an unpopular addition to Tyler’s life both personally and professionally. “Erin thinks Steven is going to be the biggest solo artist of all time,” former tour manager Henry Smith told me today. He added: “It’s not going to happen.”

Add to all this the fact that legally Aerosmith probably cannot just replace Tyler. And then there’s that question of whether Tyler really has a solo career at age 61. Like Mick Jagger, he is forever branded with his band’s name.

Stay with us here, because before anyone walks this way, more will happen. And I don’t want to miss a thing!

Eric Lewis: A Record Business Scandal

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lewis eric 200x300 Eric Lewis: A Record Business ScandalJazz pianist Eric Lewis’s story is the biggest scandal I’ve heard of in the record business. It may be the reason why young artists think record labels are irrelevant.

At 36, this incredible talent cannot get a decent contract from a record label. So he’s decided to go it alone.

It’s not like Lewis is unknown. For one thing, I met him last night at the premiere of “The Messenger” because co-stars Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster are big fans. Lewis counts among his followers seemingly dozens of celebrities. It’s not like he’s lacking for famous endorsements. He’s a favorite at private parties, playing for the likes of Patricia Arquette and husband Thomas Jane in Hollywood for their friends.

This past spring, he played at the White House for the Obamas. Last summer he was the featured guest in Italy at the Ischia Music and Film Festival where he got to play the Police song, “Murder By Numbers,” with Sting.

You’d think with these events on his resume, Eric Lewis would be signed, sealed and delivered to a major record label. A graduate of the Manhattan School of Music, he’s also paid his dues, touring with Wynton Marsalis, Clark Terry, Betty Carter, Donald Byrd, Ornette Coleman, Elvin Jones and Cassandra Wilson. In 1996, at age 23, he won the Thelonious Monk Piano competition. He’s been a member of the Lincoln Center Orchestra.

It just doesn’t seem to be enough.

Tonight at 11pm Lewis is doing a show on the Lower East Side at Pianos on Ludlow Street. He should be playing the Blue Note, and maybe recording for Blue Note, or Verve or Nonsuch. Instead, he’s getting ready to put out his own record on his own label, covering pop standards like Coldplay’s “Clocks” and the Killers‘ “Mr. Brightside.”

Somehow, the fact that Lewis plays “covers” makes record companies uneasy. This is strange: Coltrane made his reputation doing just that. For example his version of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “My Favorite Things” remains his most popular recording.

And cover songs are what make music publishers’ cash registers hum. Most of rap and hop hop is “cover” stuff and not original. You’d think one of the labels would get that. Until they do, though, we’ll have to keep up with Eric Lewis on facebook and elsewhere on the web, and at his Pianos gig tonight.

Oh yes, what about “The Messenger”: this extraordinary little film arrives on Friday from the very small Oscilloscope Films, owned by Beastie Boy Adam Yauch. It could very well be the “Frozen River” of 2009. There are award worthy performances in there from the two leads as well as Steve Buscemi and Samantha Morton. “The Messenger” delivers! (Sorry ‘ I couldn’t help it!) Ben Foster, who’s now 29 years old believe it or not, has been in movies for fifteen years. He said of his role as a U.S. Army Casualty Notification Officer’who brings bad news to a war widow: “It’s my first man role.” His days as a boy actor are over. Look out.

“Mad Men” Wraps Up Season Three: Bye Bye Betty

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“Mad Men” wrapped up season three last night with a furious-paced hour of decisions and changes.

The principals of Sterling Cooper have decamped to start a new agency. The good news is that Joan will be with them, and that Jared Harris’s character of Layne Price has become a prtner in the new agency. Peggy, Pete, and Harry Crane are all along for the ride. The change also means that Sal, who was fired after his gay incident with a client, will likely return and kickstart Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce’s involvement in commercials, TV and film. Sal could become the Joel Schumacher of “Mad Men.”

(I am also still hoping for a crossover with another fictitious ad agency of the era: McMahon Tate. Maybe Don can run into Darren and Larry at lunch one day.)

At home, Don and Betty are kaput. It’s ironic, but Betty is the philanderer. Don’s infidelities remain hidden from her. A new Don dawns in the new year, 1964, when the show resumes. Jon Hamm’s Don will now be freed from his marriage and his past. That will be exciting ‘ a smart move by Matthew Weiner. I will miss Conrad Hilton. Actor Chelcie Ross easily deserves an Emmy for series guest star.

Still, John Slattery’s Roger Sterling remains my favorite character. No one delivers a line like Slattery. He almost swats them away, like flies. His cadence sets the rhythm of the room.

What was interesting in all this was the effect of the Kennedy assassination on all the characters. Subtly, the shock of it has changed their lives. Everyone is re-evaluating. Betty, who is horrid, nevertheless see her chance at strength. What will happen to her is anyone’s guess. It looks like she isn’t taking money from Don, and depending on new love Harry Francis. That already looks like a recipe for disaster. But no one will miss Betty, not Don, the kids, or the audience.

The best news is the return of Joan, played by Christina Hendricks. We didn’t see enough of her in these last thirteen episodes. She should be a bright shining star in the next go-round ‘ and certainly matched with Slattery, Hendricks will make her way to the lead.

What comes next: the Beatles, the civil rights movement, LBJ, women’s lib, bra burning, the anti-war movement, and, oh yes, as Don said to Peggy, “Negroes.” Maybe we’ll see a black employee at the new agency. Wouldn’t that be something?

Larry David’s Divorce Claims Custody of Actress

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shue elisabeth 250x300 Larry Davids Divorce Claims Custody of ActressMost interesting guest appearance on a TV show last night: Elisabeth Shue on “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

As it happens, Shue’s husband Davis Guggenheim directed the Al Gore documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth.” He won an Oscar for it.

Who produced “Truth”? Why, Laurie David, ex-wife of Larry David, star and creator of “Curb.”

It does seem that in the Larry-Laurie divorce, Larry wins the Guggenheims. Having film star Shue make a guest appearance on “Curb” seems to be sending some kind of message to ex-wife Laurie. And what a strange little plot twist: in the show, Shue is accused of having oral sex with the fictional Larry’s wife in the show, Cheryl (Cheryl Hines). The Cheryl character is kind of a stand-in for Laurie David — so much so that fictional Larry divorced Cheryl last season.

Got that? Or maybe Larry is carrying a torch for Laurie (that seems unlikely though since Laurie reportedly hooked up with Martha’s Vineyard gardener Bart Thorpe, who was married into a wealthy island real estate family). Shue’s character was named Virginia Sloane. A real Virginia Sloane was the writer of a famous big band song in the 1940s called “You’re Part of My Heart.” That’s probably just a coincidence though.

Jackson Kids Go Out, “This Is It” Up to $185 Mil Worldwide

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Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” has actually hit $185 million worldwide and will keep going past Thanksgiving, sources tell me.

“It’s conceivable that it’s on its way to $250 million,” says a source.

So it’s all good, with the companion album from Sony Music expected to hit the 500,000 mark.

Meanwhile, over the weekend, unbeknownst to anyone, Michael’s kids got some R & R and fun time. They went to the Lakers game on Friday night with AEG’s Randy Phillips, nanny Grace Rwaramba (yes, she’s baaack!), and two of Tito Jackson’s kids.

Prince, Paris, and Blanket got to see Kobe Bryant score 41 points in the Lakers win, and no one bothered them. I’m told they also spent some time at the pinball arcade next to the Staples Center. How did they get away with it? “They used AEG security instead of the Jacksons,” a source tells me. “And they wore normal clothes.” Nice.

Now — as far as the kids seeing “This Is It“– they have not seen the movie yet. One attempt was made to bring them to a theater, but paparazzi caught on. The field trip was aborted.

And the kids’ status: “They seem to be in good shape,” says a source. Still, this week, as I reported a few days ago — Debbie Rowe will ask the family court to enforce her custody/visitation agreement.